Of Cooties and Boy Germs
by Kurissyma san Tybalt
Summary: Another FFX2 High School fic from me! The difference being that this one should be rather less suckish and at least a little more in character, haha... Pairings: Painalai, Luakka, Aurikku and Tiyuna.
1. The Three Amigos

AN. Good lord, I'm writing ANOTHER Final Fantasy X-2 high school fic!! The difference being that this one will not suck half so badly as the others, lol D

Pairings: Paine/Baralai, Rikku/Gippal (one-sided; temporary), Rikku/Auron, Yuna/Tidus, Lulu/Wakka

**Prologue: The Three Amigos**

**Diary a la Rikku!!**

Guess what Gippal gave me for a Christmas present! Why, it's you, my beautiful little diary! You! Covered with black denim with little hearts around the edges!! Oh, you are just _so_ cute!! I've always wanted to keep a diary! Paine has one and she makes it seem so cool and mysterious! She says that mine looks like it belongs to some middle-school kid, but _I_ think the little white-paint flowers I drew on it look _cute_! Hers is black too, but it's just plain- it doesn't have half as much -uhh...?- _character_ as mine does!!

Anyway, back to Gippy! How sweet of him was it to get me such an adorable gift?! He kind of ruined it by saying that he was only giving it to me so he could steal it back and read it later, but I'm gonna let that one slide!

Ooh! You know, we watched the fireworks together on New Years Eve? I was absolutely sure that he was gonna kiss me… but, no- I guess it wasn't meant to be… Maybe next year, huh?

Anyway, I gotta go- Yunie is calling and I think she wants me to get up… Time to catch some Z's then!!

Hugs and kisses!

L'il Ree

PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK 

I've been sitting here calling Rikku for 20 minutes already but I don't think she can hear me- Either that or she's choosing to ignore me and I'll have to go up and drag her out of bed myself. I'm still calling between sentences.

"Rikku. Rikku. Rikku."

No answer… I'll try one more time. Rikku is so lazy sometimes- doesn't she remember that it's the first day back to school today?

"_Rikku_."

Okay, okay. I'm going up.

Rikku and I live together alone for most of the year. My parents died a long time ago so we live with her dad- my uncle, since we're cousins- but he goes away a lot on business.

There's also Brother, but God knows where he disappears to half the time. Rikku thinks he's always off smoking pot somewhere, but I think he's just down at the local library. His first language is Al Bhed, so he needs to study a lot more if he wants to fit in at our school- he just transferred, along with his friend, Buddy, who he was staying with before in the Al Bhed Home…

"RIKKU!!"

Sighing, I opened her door, shoving the last of my yummy cinnamon toast in my mouth as I did so. She was still in bed so I walked over to the curtains, watching her face for the telltale squint of her half-closed eyes as I yanked them open.

"Rikku, get up right now, or I'll swipe your diary and show it to _Gippal_," I threatened loudly.

It did the trick; she immediately jumped out of bed and clasped her diary to her chest in horror. It was just lying there on her bedside table, so I assumed that she'd been writing in it just before I came in.

"You have managed to remember that we start school again today, haven't you?" I asked, and I saw, from the look of absolute horror on her face, that she hadn't. "If you get up now, we can still make it in time."

Within the space of half a second, she had dropped her diary and bolted for the bathroom door. I looked down at it- tempted to pick it up and read whatever she didn't want Gippal to see, but resisting with all of my might.

We both got the idea of starting a journal from Paine. She had one first, then Rikku and me started talking and Gippal got her a notebook for Christmas, so, rather than be left behind, I got myself one too. You- Blue with little clouds and a kitty with a crown in one corner that I bribed Brother to draw for me.

Despite his many, many, _many_ flaws, Brother is actually a fantastic artist and he knows it. He wants to drop school and start himself a tattoo parlour in town but Uncle Cid is adamant that he finishes school and goes to college first. I don't know why him and Buddy came here, but I have a feeling that they would have been MUCH better off back wherever they came from- Cid's pretty strict with his charges; mostly just Brother and Rikku, though, oddly enough.

"Yunie, fix your hair! We're leaving!" cried Rikku as the bathroom door shot open and she dived under the bed for her favourite red pumps.

"I was ready _hours ago_, Rikku," I reminded her sternly. "And what's _wrong_ with my hair, huh? I _have_ actually brushed it this morning!"

Rikku ignored me and was out the door again in a flash, leaving me to meekly oblige to her orders and get ready for my very first day back at that hell-hole they call Besaid High.

My only comfort was that somewhere out there in the grey and murky fog that just _had_ to be out on the first day of school, Paine was having just a crummy morning as we were.

Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out.

Toast. Shower. Motorcycle. School.

Yuna and Rikku were already out in the schoolyard as I arrived. They waved frantically as I parked my bike in the usual spot and I started walking over slowly, taking my time to readjust to the dreary school atmosphere- so different from the one I had just left back home.

"Hi, Paine!"

I turned around, registering Rikku's disappointed expression out of the corner of my eye as I did so. "Baralai," I said simply, raising my hand in a vague gesture of greeting.

"How was your summer?" he asked, ruffling his fluffy white hair a little, and grinning at me.

Somehow, I found myself entranced by the movement, eyes glued on his hand, which was slightly browner than when I saw it last, but thankfully I managed to answer fluidly. "Fine." …Well, with as just as much fluidity as you can pour into one word, anyway…

"That's good to hear."

"_Hey, Baralai! You coming or not?!"_

Baralai let out a small nervous chuckle and glanced in the other direction. "Uh, I'd better go. See you, Paine!"

I waved again as he left and resumed walking towards Rikku and Yuna.

"You were talking to Baralai?" said Rikku, grinning widely as I joined them.

"Yes," I said, completely ignoring the suggestive lilt her voice had taken on.

"That's nice." Still irritably suggestive.

"Oh be nice, Rikku," said Yuna, grinning a little in embarrassment for her cousin.

Rikku pouted annoyingly and looked like she was about to retort just as the first bell rang. A collective groan spread around the schoolyard and everyone began to trudge toward to heavy wooden doors that were to hold us prisoner for the next excruciating 6 periods.

"This is it, girls," I said and the others nodded solemnly.

"As much as it sucks," Rikku agreed.

"Ready to face the assembly?"

Stupid question- we were never ready for Monday's 2-hour assemblies and today was no exception. Still… it was time to face the music.

Talk to you later,

Paine


	2. Gateway To Hell

Chapter 1: Gateway to Hell 

By the time assembly let out, the spirits of all 400-or-so students at Besaid High had been significantly dampened. The principal, Mr Beclem, had begun with his usual address, taking up more than a quarter of the 2-hours the students were cramped in the tiny hall with his 'hope that this years seniors were more responsible than the last' and outline of all the new rules and regulations he had spent his own summer break formulating.

When they were let out at long last and issued their timetables by their homeroom teachers, Rikku, Yuna and Paine sighed collectively at what they had first period.

Spirian History with Sir Auron.

"I can't believe we got that old fart as a teacher again this year," Rikku moaned disbelievingly. "It's not fair!"

"You only say that because you haven't finished your summer assignment," Yuna teased knowingly.

"Well I didn't think I'd ever have to sit one of his boring classes again!"

Paine let out a small puff of amusement as Rikku danced about on the spot worriedly.

"Ants in your pants, Riks?" asked a familiar voice laughingly.

"Don't laugh, Gippal!" Rikku whined. "I'm in deep enough shit with Sir Auron as it is! Can't you be sympathetic for once?!"

Gippal just laughed some more.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Rikku," said Baralai kindly from where he stood beside his old friend.

"Thanks, 'Lai," she said, nodding gratefully.

"Hey!" Gippal complained. "I may not be sympathetic, but at least _I'm_ not a liar! You're doomed, Riks. Doomed. Doomed. Doomed."

Rikku lashed out with her fist and glared at him evilly before storming off.

"Oh, do you _have_ to infuriate her, Gippal?" Yuna sighed, before chasing after her cousin and leaving Paine with the boys.

"Have you got Spirian History too?" she asked as she opened her old, still perfectly organized, grey locker and took out her history books and pencil case.

"'Lai does," said Gippal. "But I'm not taking it this year- surprised that Rikku is…"

Paine just smirked. "Sir Auron is a friend of her father's. They actually get along okay, but he loves to tease her more than the other students, out of familiarity."

Gippal looked surprised for a moment, then started laughing again as Paine closed her locker. "That's funny!" he said. "Well, I've got Extension D&T right now, so I've gotta go. See you both at lunch, okay? We'll go off campus and grouse about our teachers."

"Sounds good," Paine agreed and Baralai nodded.

A moment later they were walking together silently. It was a peaceful silence- they'd known each other since kindergarten, after all- but Baralai broke it anyway. "There are members of the scholarship committee coming to my house after school. It's ridiculous- mum's been cleaning for the past few weeks in preparation."

"My mum was like that too," said Paine.

"I miss her," said Baralai, suddenly embarrassed at bringing up the subject. "She was always so kind to everyone."

"Maybe if she'd stuck around I might have gained a few more of her redeeming qualities," said Paine, attempting to sound flippant about it and only marginally succeeding.

"I think that you're more like her than you know, Paine," said Baralai.

Paine just nodded, an odd chill running up her spine as their shoulders brushed slightly. "Maybe. Maybe not," she said simply. "…Good luck with your scholarship."

"Thanks- it'd be a great thing for my mum not to have to pay the fees here. It's been hard for her since dad died."

"It was hard for dad and me when my mum died as well," said Paine understandingly. "I think that's why he left."

"It sure was nice of Miss Lulu to take you in, though," Baralai cut in, trying to put a positive spin on things. "A teacher's salary isn't exactly high and she's really trying hard."

"I think she feels obliged to, since she was such good friends with my mother. I'll be out of there as soon as I'm old enough, though, and as soon as I can afford my own flat somewhere. I wouldn't want to abuse her hospitality any longer than necessary."

"You know that she loves having you around."

Paine just shrugged and they were silent as they entered room A13 for their 1st class of the school year.

-

"Keeping up our magnificent streak of tardies from last year, are we, Miss Rikku?" asked Sir Auron, raising an eyebrow as she sauntered into class 10 minutes or so after the second bell that indicated the start of the lesson.

Rikku, who had ditched Yuna and decided not to go straight to class after Gippal's comment, just stuck her chin in the air defiantly. "If I'm late to your class 10 days more in a row, I'll have set a school record," she said proudly. "And, why on earth would I give up such a grand opportunity for nothing but ten minutes in my _least favourite class_."

If it were anyone else, there might have been far more serious consequences following those statements, but Sir Auron just looked amused. "Well, since I'm positive that you used those ten minutes to put the finishing touches on your summer research project, and since you're already standing, why don't you go ahead and be the first to present? We were just about to start anyway."

"Thanks, but no thanks, for the offer, Sir Auron. I reckon I'll just take my seat," said Rikku, her tone of voice challenging him to argue.

"Well then, I 'reckon' I'll be seeing you after school again, Miss Rikku," he countered and she shrugged lazily from her usual seat beside Yuna.

"Great," said Rikku. "I've already got the record for consecutive detentions but I guess there's no harm in _securing_ it- wouldn't want the new Year 7s getting any ideas, right?"

"Of course not," said Sir Auron, smirking. "Now, who _would_ like to present their projects? I assume that you have all completed them?" No one raised their hand and Auron obviously wasn't surprised by this, because he had already chosen his next victim. "Thanks for volunteering, Miss Keller- go ahead!"

Paine stood grudgingly, throwing a sideways glance at Baralai before walking towards the front of the classroom with her assignment. She was frowning deeply and everyone in the room (except maybe Auron) sympathized with her at that moment. First class of the first day of term, just after a long gruelling assembly, and she was being forced to present her project first off the mark. Her only consolation was that it couldn't get much worse from there.

-

By the time lunch rolled around Rikku had fallen into a deep depression, Yuna was asleep on her feet and Paine was completely and utterly out of tune with everything around her. A soft chuckle from directly behind her, however, soon jolted her back to the sub-standard reality that was high school.

"You look like you've had a good day, Paine."

"Oh, shut up, Baralai. It's been hell and you know it," she replied, shoving her books into her locker and slamming the door shut violently.

"I'm sorry," Baralai agreed but he was smiling. "Are you still up for going off campus for lunch then?"

"Do you really need to ask? It's only been 4 periods but I really need to get out of here."

"I just thought I'd better check, since everyone else is out," said Baralai, shrugging.

"Really?" asked Paine as they walked towards the school gates.

"Yeah," said Baralai and he laughed suddenly. "Rikku is mourning the end of the holidays and Gippal stayed behind to comfort her… per her demand, of course."

"What about Yuna?"

Baralai smirked and shook her head. "She got asked out by the new guy."

"The blonde one?" Paine had been partnered with him in her PE elective, Swordsmanship, but he had seemed like a real idiot. By the end of the lesson he had been begging Sir Auron (yes, the bastard taught that too) to be transferred to Blitzball.

"Yeah, Titus… Or something like that, anyway."

"Titus is Mr Wakka's dog," said Paine, referring to the redheaded Blitzball coach. "_Tidus_ is the new student."

"Oh yeah…" said Baralai, grinning sheepishly. "Wait, how would you know that? You don't even have him for any of your classes."

"But Lulu has him over all the time," said Paine offhandedly. "He practically lives with us and if he's not there, she goes to him."

"Really? Are they like… dating?"

Paine looked surprised, then laughed and shook her head. "No, they're just really good friends," she told him. "They grew up together. Her, Wakka and his brother."

"He has a brother?"

"His name was Chappu- Lulu was engaged to him but he died in a car crash two years ago."

"Wow… You know, you could write a book about the secret lives of teachers and make a fortune. What else do you know that the rest of us don't?"

Paine smirked and shook her head. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she said, poking him teasingly. "Let's just go before lunch break is over."

Baralai nodded, grinning widely. "Okay. Let's go."

-

"No… No, Billy, that does definitely _not_ count as extra credit. I'm sorry."

"But, Miss-!"

Miss Lulu shook her head firmly. "No. Go and have a nice lunch, Billy. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Mi-issss!!"

"You keep trying with that Thundara of yours, okay?"

"Yes, Miss…" 'Billy' grumbled irritably, and he left, pushing past Mr Wakka in the doorway without even seeing him.

"Poor kid," Wakka chucked as he passed, walking over to help as the Black Magic teacher gathered her books off of the desk and attempted to balance them on one hip.

Lulu cocked her head to one side and shook it decidedly. "I haven't done anything wrong, so don't you go making me feel guilty, Wakka," she admonished him.

"Yeah, yeah- I know," Wakka laughed. "But still- poor kid, it was his first day back after all."

"It's my first day back too," Lulu reminded him. "And it's no easier on us teachers than it is on them."

"True that… Wanna go off campus for lunch?"

Lulu glanced over at his face and he grinned at her as they made their way towards the staffroom, where she could dump her books. "Sounds fun," she agreed eventually. "What did you have in mind?"

"There's always that new café around the corner… Have you been there yet?"

"I've been meaning to try it out but I've never gotten around to it," Lulu admitted. "Should we go there?"

"Yeah! But do you mind waiting while I go and talk to a potential member of the Blitz team quickly?"

"No problem," said Lulu. "I'll just put these books away and I'll meet you at the front gate in 10 minutes."

"Sounds like a plan to me. See you there, Lu!"

"Bye, Wakka… Oh, Paine! How's your first day back?"

"I'm already in a wreck," Paine complained dully.

"Aren't we all…?" Lulu agreed with a small sigh, then she turned to Paine's companion. "Your name is Baralai, right?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Baralai politely. "I was just in your last class."

"Of course you were," Lulu agreed. "You're a natural, really- what made you take up Black Magic this year?"

Baralai was about to reply when Paine tugged on his arm, shaking her head firmly. "Sorry, Lulu, but we've got to go if we want to be back in time for class."

"You're going off campus for lunch?"

"Of course- no problem, is there?"

"Not at all," said Lulu. "In fact I'm going off with Wakka myself as soon as I put these books away. Have fun, both of you."

"Bye, Lulu."

"See you later, Miss!"

Lulu waved them off and watched them go before continuing on towards the staffroom, smiling lightly to herself. _Paine and Baralai…_ Who'd have thought?


	3. MotherDaughter Bonding

Chapter 2: Mother-Daughter Bonding

"So how were your holidays, Lu?" asked Wakka as they walked back towards school after lunch (and a rather embarrassing encounter with Paine and Baralai at the café).

"Wakka, I was with you for most of the summer," said Lulu, shaking her head cynically. "I don't think there's much you don't know about my holidays."

"Uhh, yeah…" Wakka admitted, grinning cutely. "I guess."

Lulu just smiled. "You know, I think all the time we spend together is starting to give Paine the wrong idea."

"How d'you mean?" asked Wakka, glad to get the focus of off him and his inaptitude for small talk.

"She thinks we're a couple," said Lulu, blushing lightly.

Wakka just laughed. "Oh, come on, Lu! Don't pretend we didn't used to do that as well! Remember how cute we thought Mr Braska would be with that one Al Bhed teacher?"

"Yes, but we were _right_ and they got _married_, whereas _you and I-"_

"_Really?!_"

Lulu looked surprised, then laughed a little and nodded. "Paine's friend Yuna is their daughter."

Wakka was wide-eyed with shock, causing Lulu to laugh again, harder this time.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew!" she apologised.

"No!!" They were silent for a few minutes and then Wakka laughed too. "Wow… Things sure do change."

"And yet _we're_ exactly the same as we were in high school…" Lulu mused, smiling softly. "It's funny how that works out, isn't it?"

"Funny," Wakka agreed. "But definitely not unfortunate." He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently, a cute little grin on his face. "Like I'm really glad we can still be so close after everything that's happened, ya."

Lulu smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand back. "Yes. I'm glad too."

"Hi, Lulu," said Paine, the smirk evident in her voice alone as she and Baralai picked the perfect moment to walk up behind the pair. "Having fun?"

"I could easily ask you two lovebirds the same question," Lulu replied immediately, nodding towards the unlikely couple.

"Baralai and I are _not_ together," Paine grumbled defensively, pulling her own hand away from Baralai's at the same time that Lulu drew hers away from Wakka.

"Well neither are we," Lulu retorted and the two girls had a mini stare off, lasting about 20 seconds, before they both simultaneously looked away, blushing, almost as though they had made some sort of truce.

Wakka and Baralai grinned at each other knowingly.

"Hmph… Well I'm going out with some friends after school so don't wait up," said Paine eventually, breaking the silence.

"Not too late," Lulu reminded her, almost ritually. "You have school tomorrow."

"Like I don't know," said Paine, rolling her eyes slightly. "I'll be back by ten."

"Paine, it's only the first day back!" Lulu admonished her. "You'll be home by seven-thirty, at latest!"

The older woman's surrogate daughter didn't protest but she didn't look happy about it either, folding her arms across her chest in a rather indignant manner.

"I'll make sure she's home on time, Miss," Baralai was quick to assure Lulu, seeing how her eyes narrowed slightly and her lips pursed.

The teacher's face immediately broke into a smile. "Thank you, Baralai," she acquiesced, then she turned to Paine and added in a whisper, "I approve of this boy- he seems like a gentleman!"

"Lulu!" Paine protested, blushing deeply, and the men laughed again.

The four walked onto school campus and split up without another word. Teachers and students just didn't get along that way- not in public. The moment they got through the gates, Paine and Baralai were off to their lockers and Lulu and Wakka were on their way to the staffroom in preparation for the final two hours that separated them and the end of their first day of torture at Besaid High.

-

As it was, Paine _did_ manage to get home by seven-thirty that night (though Baralai had had to risk life, limb and a speeding ticket to pick her up from Rikku's house after his scholarship meeting was done and get her there before curfew) and Lulu's approval of the boy soared.

"You couldn't go wrong with a quiet, sensible boy like that Baralai," she teased over a dinner of cold pizza- both of them having been absolutely dead on their feet after their first full day back to school and having refused to cook.

"Shut up about him or I'll have to go on about Mr Wakka," Paine threatened, knowing by now that this was the single best way to shut her up.

As expected, Lulu was adequately ruffled by the insinuation. "Paine, how many times do I need to tell you that there is _nothing_ going on between Wakka and myself?"

"Seriously?" said Paine, leaning back in her chair slightly to fully survey the older woman. "I wouldn't believe you if you told me a million times- which you probably already have, by the way."

"Look, I won't deny that we're good friends, Paine, because _I_ know that _you_ know that we are, but…"

"You were engaged to his brother?" Paine supplied and Lulu blushed furiously.

"That's not it!" she exclaimed. "It's just that…"

Paine leaned forwards slightly, suddenly quite serious. "Yeah?"

"…I just don't see him that way, Paine," Lulu sighed, looking down.

The younger woman leaned back in her chair, noticeably disappointed. "I wish you'd tell me the truth, Lu," she said honestly. "I wouldn't hate you if you told me that you'd fallen in love with Mr Wakka, you know, and I bet anything that your Chappu wouldn't either."

Lulu stood up and picked up her plate, taking it to the sink silently. A while later, she spoke again. "I knew that I shouldn't have unloaded all of my problems on you two years ago, Paine… I'm sorry. You should know, though, that I'm not unhappy since Chappu died- I'm not lonely or anything. I have you, after all. I just don't need another man in my life at the moment, and there's no way that you can change that, so don't worry about it. I guess sometimes I forget that you're just a kid…"

"I'm 17," Paine found herself protesting. "Besides, isn't that what you've been trying to do ever since my dad left? Fill that space with another guy?"

"You're just being silly now," said Lulu, frowning deeply, though her back was turned to Paine. "That's completely different. I only encourage you with boys because I know how shy you are, and I want you to be happy."

"I'm not _shy_! I just-"

"You don't want to put your trust in another guy since your father left you," said Lulu, but she didn't sound at all smug about what she had rightly surmised- in fact, she sounded rather sad.

"Lulu…"

"Don't tell me you'd still be awaiting your first kiss if you were just a normal 17-year-old with a normal family?"

Paine blushed. "Stay out of my personal life, Lulu! It's none of your business!! But while we're on the subject, don't _you_ tell _me_ that if you had never met Chappu, you wouldn't be married to Wakka with _kids_ right about now."

Lulu let out a strangled gasp and stomped her foot once against the black tiled floor of the kitchen. "I'm going to go to bed now," she snapped. "Leave the dishes in the sink and I'll do them in the morning."

Paine nodded with an irritated sigh, but as soon as Lulu was out of the room she cleaned both of their plates anyway. She hated fighting with Lulu- or even just disagreeing with her. It didn't seem right when the teacher did so very much for her- especially since she didn't even have to do it, really.

"Go to _sleep_, Paine," Lulu called, upon hearing the tap running from her bedroom.

"Two minutes," Paine called back, and, true to her word, a couple of minutes later she was settling into bed, content that she had done all that she could do for her dear foster mother, who was really so much more of a very close sister.

-

…

-

PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK

I just saw Miss Lulu talking to Paine outside her locker. It's odd- Paine doesn't even _take_ Black Magic… She seemed pretty annoyed about something or other when I saw her and Miss Lulu was looking worried. Maybe Paine's just in one of her moods and poor Miss Lulu somehow happened into her path…

I approached from behind and managed to catch a little of the conversation.

"-You're not my mother, Lu," Paine was saying. "It's not in your job description to worry about me."

"But those girls were being horrid!" Miss Lulu protested.

"I could have handled them without your interference…"

"Paine, I am fully aware that you could have beaten up all three of those girls in a heartbeat if you'd wanted to, but that wouldn't have changed anything! They were _bullying you_ and I _will not stand for it!_"

Paine looked like she was about to retort, but then she caught sight of me and did something that I _never_ thought I'd _ever_ see her do.

She blushed. "Yuna!"

Miss Lulu, who had had her back to me, turned around so quickly that the beads at the ends of her braids clinked together loudly and she was blushing too.

The twin looks on their faces vaguely reminded me of Rikku and her last boyfriend when Cid had walked into the room to find them making out on the kitchen table… Oh God, disturbing thought! But Paine isn't even attracted to girls, right? _Right?!_

"Your school-friends don't know, do they?" asked Miss Lulu, suddenly looking very amused at my expression, which I could only imagine was one of absolute horror, given the frightening mental images I was having of my best friend and my teacher together on a certain kitchen table.

"No. Well, excepting Baralai, of course," Paine replied, giving me a sort of apologetic half smile as she regained her composure.

"_Of course_," Miss Lulu repeated with a small chuckle and Paine glared at her. Then she looked at me. "Yuna, you look as though you've seen a ghost."

"Uhm… sorry!" I said, falteringly. "I was… a million miles away. Uhm… yeah!"

"Paine is my foster daughter- it's only natural that we're close."

I wondered whether or not Miss Lulu knew what I'd been thinking about her and Painey… then I set that thought aside and glanced at my friend for confirmation. She nodded firmly.

"So that's how come I've never been invited to your house!" I exclaimed and then I started blushing furiously as I cautioned a glance at Miss Lulu, who was still looking rather amused.

"Paine's probably embarrassed to death by me," she agreed with a small smile.

"I'm not…" Paine grumbled defensively.

"Sure you're not," said Miss Lulu. Then she went on, more seriously, "We'll talk more about those girls at home, Paine. I won't let them get away with bullying my child."

Paine rolled her eyes and for a moment I thought she was going to remind Miss Lulu that she wasn't her mother again, but she kept her mouth shut resolutely, eventually muttering a small "whatever." Considering this a suitable farewell, the older woman smiled and left.

With her gone, I rounded on Paine. "How come you never told me that you lived with Miss Lulu?" I asked, a little insulted. I had known her pretty much since Pre-K, after all.

Paine just shook her head. "It doesn't matter. How was your date with the new guy?"

I felt my cheeks flushing slightly as the attention was shifted onto me… Thankfully, though, I was saved from answering as Rikku bounced up.

"Hi guys!!"

"Hi, Rikku," I said, smiling gratefully.

"What's up?"

"Yuna was just about to tell me about her date yesterday," said Paine, smirking, and I had to force myself to withhold a groan as Rikku perked up.

"Oh yeah!! How'd it go?!" she squealed, grabbing onto my arm and steering me _away_ from our first class.

I just sighed resignedly, only vaguely aware of Paine slipping away in the background and joining Baralai in a slow trail for 1st period maths.

Gotta love Tuesdays…

Talk to you later,

-Yuna

-

"It's not fair!!" Rikku was moaning when she finally met up with Yuna and Paine for lunch later that day. "How can the school give us _double periods_ of Spirian History? _Double periods!!_"

"It's okay, we'll be with you," Yuna assured her, laughing a little. "Wanna go off campus and get some real food to up your strength?"

"I'm too depressed to walk that far!" Rikku cried out dramatically, looking pointedly at Gippal, who was slowly approaching with Baralai.

He pulled a face in reply. "Noooo way, Cid's girl! I don't give piggybacks!"

Rikku turned her back on him and sulked.

Gippal only laughed. "Hey, guys." He glanced at Rikku again. "So we're eating in the caf today, huh?"

"Yeah," Yuna agreed apologetically. "Rikku's in one of her moods over her next two periods both being Ancient Spirian."

"I'm doooooooomed!!" Rikku whined miserably.

"Rikku, you have detention _every day_- why're you in such a state about getting it from Sir Auron? And don't tell me that you don't _like_ winding him up," said Paine, rolling her eyes, and, of course, she was right.

"_Becauseeeeee_! It's _torture!!_" Rikku whined, turning to face them again and waving her arms around wildly.

"Look, me and Yuna will buy you an ice-cream after school, okay?" Paine sighed. "Will that make it better?"

Rikku was about to agree whole-heartedly, but Yuna interrupted.

"Uhm, actually… I can't…"

The little Al Blhed's face fell again. "How come, Yunie?"

"I… uhm… have a date," Yuna admitted, blushing a little.

"With your blitzer?" asked Rikku excitedly. "That's so cute!"

Paine rolled her eyes at both of them and chanced a glance at Baralai, who, she found, was looking at her too.

"Come _on_, guys," said Gippal, heaving a loud, overly dramatic sigh. "Rikku, stop whining- Yuna, stop mooning after your boy toy- And Paine and 'Lai, you two can stop mooning after _each other_! I'm hungry and I wanna _eat_!"

Everyone except Rikku started blushing furiously, but, obliviously, Gippal just led the way down the hall and into the cafeteria.

Food came first, after all.

-

"Something wrong, Lu?"

Lulu looked up from her meal and shook her head. "No, I'm fine…"

"You sure?" asked Wakka, putting his knife and fork down to survey her properly. "You look like something's bothering you."

"I'm just a little worried about Paine," Lulu admitted. "I found a group of girls bullying her earlier and I'm pretty sure she hates my guts for intervening before she could punch their lights out…"

"Paine's strong, I'm sure she'll be fine."

Lulu's eyes narrowed slightly. "Well of course she's strong, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings!! …Teenage girls can be absolutely horrible creatures, Wakka. I'm really worried about her!"

"So talk to her about it, ya."

"I plan to," Lulu agreed. "But I don't think she'll tell me much. You know her…"

"Ya, I guess… Why don't you talk to that Baralai kid after class tomorrow? He's tight with Paine so maybe he'll be able to tell you something."

Lulu beamed. "That's a brilliant idea, Wakka!" she praised him. "I'll sleep much better tonight with that in mind!" She leaned across the table and planted a quick, light kiss on his cheek.

Wakka blushed cutely and, sobering up a little, Lulu did too. There was silence for a minute or two, then…

"You'd make a really great mum, Lu."

Lulu blushed deeper and stood up. "Let's just get the bill and go…" She smiled a little. "And… Thank you, Wakka."

Wakka grinned and shook his head. "No problem, ya," he replied earnestly, and as they prepared the leave, Lulu couldn't help but wonder exactly how far from the truth Paine had actually been when she'd spoken before about her and Wakka…


	4. Insubordination

Chapter 3: Insubordination

"Late _again_, Miss Rikku?" Sir Auron noted as she entered the class, and even though he hadn't turned away from the blackboard for a moment, she could _hear_ the smirk in his voice. "I'm beginning to think that you actually _enjoy_ our little after-school rendezvous'?"

"Maybe I do!" Rikku retorted as she took her regular seat in the back.

"Then I might as well keep you an extra hour or so," said Auron calmly, angling his head slightly to look at her without fully turning away from the board. "You wouldn't have a problem with that, would you, Miss Rikku?"

Rikku only stuck out her tongue in reply. "I'll be there, you old… _oldie!_!"

-

**Diary a la Rikku!!**

'_Do I really __**like**__ detention with Sir Auron?' _I found myself wondering as I outwardly complained about it to Paine, by her locker after the bell for the end of the school day had gone. _'Maybe I do. Wow… That's so odd!'_

"Hey Paine; Rikku," sounded a familiar voice, interrupting my thoughts and whatever Paine was trying to tell me.

"Hiya there, Baralai," I sighed miserably, even though I had just established that detention with Sir Auron wasn't such a big deal. "Guess what my plans for after school are?"

"Detention," Baralai replied immediately, then he turned to Paine. "Are you doing anything?" he asked her.

"Not officially," Paine replied. "But I think I'm supposed to go straight home. My foster mother wants to have a little 'heart-to-heart' when I get back," she replied, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest irritably.

Ooh! Painey's mysterious foster mom!

I know that her real mom died ages ago and that her pops bundled her into Care a little afterwards, but she's never told us anything more that that, so any opportunity to get her to talk even a little about her foster mom is a total blessing!!

"Sooo Paine," I said, hopefully quite casually. "What's your foster mom like?"

Paine looked a little put off by the question. "She's good to me," she replied simply.

"Does she have a hubby? Any foster-pops?" I probed, siddling a little closer to her.

Paine just shook her head silently.

"She does have a love interest though," said Baralai, seeming very amused.

"A boyfriend?"

"Naw, a secret crush," Baralai told me.

"No way! Cute- WAIT! Hold up!!" I rounded on Paine angrily. "How come BARALAI'S met your foster mom and I HAVEN'T?!"

Paine chose not to dignify this with an answer, shutting her locker and turning her back to me, pausing a little before she walked away just to remind met that I had detention.

"See ya, 'Lai," she said then, and she left.

I turned to Baralai, but he shook his head before I could open my mouth.

"No," he said. "Paine's foster mom is like her sister, she's not gonna go spilling her secrets and neither am I. Have fun in detention, Rikku. I'm gonna go find Gippal and Nooj."

I sighed as he left, but was not alone for long.

"You're Paine's friend aren't you?"

I turned around. It was Miss Lulu, the Black Magic teacher.

"Uh-huh…" I said, a little cautiously.

"Have you seen her?" she asked.

"She just left," I said. "She said that she needed to get home because her foster mom wanted to talk to her about something. Do you need her for something?"

Miss Lulu shook her head. "No, that's fine. Thank you," she said, and then she just left.

I wondered for a moment or two whether or not she was going to actually scout Paine out and follow her home and was about to follow her when I felt a large hand on my shoulder.

"You weren't thinking of skipping detention, were you?"

HOW THE HELL DOES HE ALWAYS DO THAT?!

Rikku out

-

Auron watched from the far corner of the room as Rikku wrote out her lines on the blackboard. The two of them were alone- it was only second day back after all. No one else had managed to get detention yet.

_I will not turn up late to class without my homework completed._

…At least that's what it was SUPPOSED to say. Instead, the repeated message read:

_I WILL TO turn up late to class and my homework WILL NOT be done so SUCK ON THAT, Sir Auron!!_

"What a creative interpretation of the lines I asked you to write," said Auron, walking forwards slowly and placing a hand at the small of her back as she stepped back to admire her work.

Rikku didn't even flinch. "Isn't it?" she agreed. "I reckon I should get extra credit."

"I 'reckon' you should rub it all out and try again, little Rikku."

Rikku turned her head to poke her tongue out at him and found, to her evident surprise, that they were standing so close to one another that another inch would have had her tongue trailing across the bare skin where his neck met his upper torso. Not that it was that bad a thought, actually…

Never one to deny herself her desires, Rikku leaned forwards slightly to slowly run her pointy pink tongue from the base of his neck to the shoulder furthest away from her, not even stopping when she met the obstruction of his oh-so-sexy black shirt. She grinned as she felt Sir Auron stiffen noticeably under her ministrations. The hand at the small her back disappeared, as though he had only just realised that it was there.

"Ri…kku…"

"Oh my Gosh! I've finally done it!" Rikku giggled softly. "I've found something that makes the great Sir Auron speechless!!" She turned her body fully towards his, blinking her sparkling green eyes up at him happily and latching her mouth over his collarbone, where she sucked softly.

The very tiniest of groans issued from her teacher and he set both of his hands on her shoulders firmly. "_Miss Rikku_," he said, a little breathlessly, and, in that moment, Rikku remembered everything.

He was her teacher- a man whom she supposedly despised, no less! And what about Gippal?! She loved him, didn't she? She'd only been mooning after him since _preschool_! …So why did this suddenly feel so good to her? Like it was right or something? It _shouldn't_, of course. It absolutely _shouldn't_... but it did.

She drew her mouth away from his skin, as per his unspoken request, but didn't take so much as a step back. Her insubordinate notes remained on the blackboard, long forgotten.

"…Sorry, sir," she said eventually, and it was probably the first time that she had _ever_ sincerely apologised to him in the history of their acquaintance.

"That was inappropriate, Miss Rikku."

"I know it was, sir… It was a stupid thing to do. Please forgive me." All of a sudden Rikku's voice had become a tiny whisper that seemed so very unlike her that it threw her teacher completely off-balance. So off-balance, in fact, that he immediately forgot all about even pretending to admonish her.

He nodded hesitantly. "Miss Rikku… I'm willing to let that small breach of conduct slide this afternoon. You must be tired. And it's only the second day back at school, after all."

"Thank you, Sir Auron," Rikku agreed bashfully, and in less than half a second, she was out the door with her bag, leaving Auron to turn around and sigh as he stared at the insolent notes left on the blackboard in her wake.

_I WILL TO turn up late to class and my homework WILL NOT be done so SUCK ON THAT, Sir Auron!!_

Somehow it just didn't seem half as funny without Rikku there to defend it… Dismissing the thought with another rough sigh, Auron dusted the board and then fled the classroom.

He needed some air.

-

**Diary a la Rikku…**

I can't believe I did that… I didn't really put my mouth on him, did I? Not on Sir Auron! …Oh, what's the use in denying it? Of course, I did! And it felt so damn good… I know it was wrong of me, but _oh my God_… could that little groan he made _be_ any _sexier_?!?!

I know that he's a teacher and I know that he's one of Pop's friends but that does _not_ change the fact that he is _totally_ _hot_!!

…Ohmiyevon this is too much!! I need to talk to someone!!

…Yuna's obviously the first choice, as someone who isn't gonna laugh at me like Paine will, but I think she's on another date with that blonde dude… Gippal's a definite 'no'- I mean how turned off would he be if he knew I had the hots for an oldie?! …Well, okay, so he's only, like, 30-35? But so what?! He's still an oldie! Anyway, if Baralai ever found him, then the boys will all be out doing… well, boy stuff, right about now.

Hmph… I guess I'm stuck with Paine then. Paine, who will no doubt laugh at me. Oh yay…

Unless…? When I was texting her during detention, didn't Yuna say that-? No way!! _She'd_ send me in for counselling!! I'd totally die!! What if she told POPS?! …But she wouldn't laugh at me. And it's not like I ever have to speak to her again in my entire life after I talk to her about Auron- erm, _Sir_ Auron. Good God, I am _not_ going to ask another _teacher_ for advice!!

…Am I…?

Oh, Shivers… I guess I am. I guess I'm actually that desperate. Well, wish me luck!

Rikku out!

-

A small cloud of confusion passed over Lulu's face as she opened the door, but she pushed it aside. "Rikku, wasn't it? We spoke earlier."

Rikku shuffled her feet and nodded sheepishly, offering a tiny, nervous smile to the woman in the doorway. "Uhm, I hope you don't mind, Miss Lulu- I asked the Coach for your address."

"I don't mind," Lulu assured her. "But is something wrong?"

"Uhm… kinda. Okay, yeah, really wrong. Can I come in?"

Lulu nodded soundlessly and stepped aside, leading the younger girl into the living room, where Paine was perched on the window ledge with a notepad in her lap, a text book propped up to her right and a badly chewed pen in her mouth. She looked up as they walked in.

"Rikku?" she said, removing the pen and eyeing her friend quizzically.

Unexplainably, Rikku found herself blushing, and, noting this, Lulu walked over to Paine. "Wouldn't you rather do your homework on the table in the kitchen, Paine?" she asked pointedly.

The teenager glanced over at her classmate, who was looking at the floor and blushing heavily, before giving a little shrug and piling her books into her arms. "Whatever," she said, standing up. She didn't question Rikku, and the younger girl was immensely thankful for it. She just gathered up her things and left, shutting the door on her way out.

The room now empty of any possible distraction, Rikku found herself shaking nervously as she and Lulu looked at each other. They shared a silent moment, then the black mage walked over –her sudden movement startling Rikku and causing her to fall back a step- and sat down on the couch, gesturing for the jittery young Al Bhed to join her.

"You look afraid," she said, her face completely and utterly unreadable. "Did something happen?"

Rikku could only nod wordlessly.

A few more moments passed in silence then… "I'll go get us some tea, shall I? In the mean time, you can think about what exactly you came here to say to me."

"I- Uh… Thank you, Miss Lulu…"

Lulu nodded easily. "You're welcome," she said, and she left.

-

Diary a la Rikku 

Shivers… What _did_ I come here to say? How am I supposed to explain to someone I hardly even know that I'm in love with my SH teacher and expect her to understand?!

Oh, Goodness! She's back with the tea! What do I say? How do I tell her? Oh, Why in Seven Hells did I choose to come _here_? Just because Yuna told me how kind and motherly she was to Paine? Well, right now I'm more scared of her than anything…

Good Lord, please help me!!

Rikku out!

-

Rikku was shaking, even as the hot mug of tea was pressed into her little white hands and she looked up to thank Miss Lulu.

Lulu just shook her head and sat down beside her again, watching as the younger girl took a tentative sip of her drink. "Can you tell me what's the matter now?" she asked, but she was to receive no reply. With a little sigh, she went on. "I've seen you around school and I've heard about you from Paine, Rikku- you're not an unhappy little girl at all. In fact, you're probably the last person I'd expect to turn up on my doorstep so completely and utterly inconsolable."

Rikku sniffed loudly and whispered a muffled apology.

Lulu reached out and put a hand on her knee. "While I was in the kitchen, I spoke to Paine." This caused Rikku to look up, but she didn't say anything. "She told me that this afternoon you were serving detention with your Spirian History teacher, Sir Auron, whom you supposedly loathe with a passion." She waited for a response, but received none. "Rikku?"

Seeing that some sort of confirmation was required of her here, Rikku managed a small nod.

"Good girl," Lulu praised her, calm, but also very serious. "Now, I want you to tell me if anything happened while you were with him today- anything that he did or said that was out of the ordinary, or that may have upset you. Can you do that?"

Rikku fought against the lump in her throat and mumbled a soft "no".

The mage's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "I want you to answer me truthfully, Rikku," she said firmly. "From what Paine tells me, you were fine before you went in to see him. …She also said that you were very familiar with him- through your father, I believe."

Rikku nodded again but didn't say anything.

"Please co-operate with me," Miss Lulu sighed. "Do remember that you came her because you _wanted_ to talk about it- I shouldn't have to do all this prying…"

"…"

"Listen, Rikku. Judging from what little information I have been given, I have determined only two possible reasons for your being upset."

Rikku took a large sip from her tea, and nodded, hoping against hope that the older woman would just understand and save her from having to say it herself.

"…Either, Sir Auron has been harassing you in some way-" Lulu paused at the look on Rikku's face and let out a happy sigh of relief. "Well, I'm certainly glad that that's not the case."

"W-what was the other possible reason, Miss Lulu?" asked Rikku shyly, peeking out from behind her mug.

Lulu surveyed her carefully and gave a little sympathetic sigh as the look on the younger girl's face confirmed what she'd been thinking. "The other possibility… was that you've fallen in love with him, Rikku."

And no sooner than the words had left her lips, the young Al Bhed was dissolved in helpless tears and allowing herself to be comforted by the kindly black mage.


	5. Hurt and Comfort

Chapter 4: Hurt and Comfort

"Is Rikku gone yet?" asked Paine, looking up as her foster-mother walked into the kitchen once again.

"Yes- poor thing," sighed Lulu. "I've sent her home and she's feeling a little better."

"What was it about?"

"Nothing so important that you need to know about it," Lulu replied, still sounding a little sad as she turned her back to Paine and set about washing out the two mugs she had brought in from the sitting room. "How's your homework going?"

"Fine," said Paine, a little annoyed that she was purposely changing the subject. "Can I go back into the sitting room now?"

"Go ahead," said Lulu, then she opened her mouth again, as if to say more, but then closed it again silently.

Paine didn't see- she was already out of the room.

Lulu let out another small sigh as she sat down at the kitchen table and wondered vaguely whether or not her own high school days had been quite so dramatic. She didn't think so, but then again, as Paine often pointed out in conjunction with a crack about her being old, those had been simpler times.

Just as she was about to stand up again and maybe get some marking done for once, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey there,"_ came the vaguely familiar voice of the Al Bhed boy that her foster-daughter was friends with. _"Who is this?"_

"This is Lu-Paine's foster mother," she replied, deciding at the last minute not to give her name.

"_Oh, uhm, hi. Is Paine in?"_

"She's doing homework, is it important?" asked Lulu with a tone that just screamed 'isn't that what you should be doing too?'

"Well-" 

"Hold on a second," said Lulu, then she covered the mouthpiece with her hand and turned around as Paine walked into the room.

"Give me the phone, Lu," she said simply, holding her hand out for it.

Lulu frowned slightly, but obliged, and left the room to give her some privacy.

"Hello?" Paine said into the phone when Lulu had gone.

"_Dr P, it's Gippal."_

"I know," Paine replied. "I could tell by the look on my foster-mum's face- she doesn't like you."

"_She's never met me! How can she not like me?!"_ Gippal protested indignantly.

"She manages," said Paine, with a small shrug that her Al Bhed friend obviously couldn't see.

"_No fair…"_ Gippal muttered to himself. _"How come she doesn't like me?"_

"I don't know," said Paine, unable to found a valid reason that didn't include her foster mother being a teacher at their school and having already met him. "She likes Baralai fine."

"_Has she met __**him**__, or is it just totally random?"_

"Yeah, she's met 'Lai."

"_Then it's official!"_ Gippal exclaimed. _"I have to meet your foster-mom so she can get to know me and like me as much as she likes Little Mr Perfect!"_

"I don't think that's such a hot idea," said Paine, furrowing her eyebrows slightly.

"_Aww, come on! Please?!" _Gippal begged. _"You know how vain I am, Dr P! I can't stand thinking that there are people out there who don't like me!!"_

Paine just rolled her eyes. "Why did you call, Gippal?"

There was a surprised silence on the other end of the line, then Gippal went _"Ohhh…"_

"Yeah," said Paine, with an annoyed little sigh.

"_Well, I guess I was worried about Rikku," _he said.

"Rikku?" Paine repeated with a small frown.

"_Yeah…" _said Gippal. _"We live next door, ya know, and she just walked past looking totally depressed. And she didn't even look up at the window to my room at wave like she always does!"_

"You spend your entire life waiting at your window for her to wave at you?" said Paine, with a small note of amusement in her voice.

"_Shuddup, Paine. You know as well as I do that my gaming console faces the window,"_ Gippal muttered, along with a few other less tasteful words.

"But you like her, don't you?" Paine teased smugly.

"I said Shuddup! Now, do you know what's up with her or not?" 

Paine, who had a vague idea of the situation, merely denied it. "No clue, Gippal. Try Yuna."

"Okay, I will- see ya, Dr P!" 

Paine hung up the phone without replying and went back into the sitting room to find Lulu, who was reading. "Shouldn't you be doing your homework?" she asked, not even looking up, as she heard her foster-daughter enter the room.

"Shouldn't you be _marking_ your homework?" Paine retorted, falling down into the seat next to her and watching as Lulu put her book down.

"What's up, then, Paine?"

"Gippal just called asking about Rikku," she told her. "He's worried about her. So're you gonna tell me what's up yet?"

"That," Lulu replied sternly, "is between your friend and myself."

"Well it's obviously a big deal," said Paine, slightly ticked off. "And I think that I should know what's bugging my friend."

"…"

"You wanna say that a _little_ louder, Lu?"

"She's fallen in love with, Sir Auron," she sighed, turning away, but whatever reaction she might have expected from her surrogate younger sister, it definitely wasn't the one that she gave.

"Well duh."

"'Duh'?" Lulu repeated, frowning slightly.

"Has she honestly only just figured it out?" asked Paine sceptically.

"Well, apparently…" said Lulu, still a little shaken. "But I thought you said that she hated him."

"No," Paine replied. "I said that _she_ said that she hated him, and that she was always complaining about him. I never said that she actually did." She paused here, and then sighed. "I guess I'd better go and talk to the poor idiot, then…"

"Don't you dare go criticising her," Lulu warned. "At least she's open to love, which is more than I can say for you."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean, _mum_?"

Lulu let out a little sigh at her defensiveness. "Exactly that," she sighed. "Listen to me, I know that you and Baralai have been friends since pre-school and you value his friendship a lot, but you've got to _wake up_, already!"

"That again?" Paine moaned. "I hate this! I hate how a girl and a guy can't be _just friends_ without everyone going off and thinking-"

"Paine, that's how it started out, but I've known you for a long time, even before your dear mother passed away, and these past few years it's been really quite painful for me to see you two talking and know that you're still oblivious to what you have together." She sighed again and shook her head. "I know that you've always been just friends. It started the same way with Wakka and myself-"

"You see!" Paine cut in. "You can't just say that about Baralai and I when you-!"

"-But I've fallen in love with him, Paine. I didn't know it until just recently but it's true. I've fallen in love with him."

Paine's eyes widened and she couldn't speak. Oddly enough, she had no desire to poke fun at her foster-mother, or to scream out 'I told you so!' like she may have if she had been told this earlier. Now, she could only think of what it meant for her and Baralai. Lulu and Wakka had been friends ever since she could remember. That she could have fallen in love with him… it was… was…the hugest revelation ever…

Seeing that her confession had gotten to Paine, Lulu smiled. "Yes," she said, reaching out to touch the younger girl's shoulder affectionately. "Now, weren't you off to see how your friend was doing?"

Paine nodded silently, still a million miles away. Eventually, she looked up and blinked, as though trying to refocus her eyes. "That's just you, Lulu," she said softly. "Just because you like Wakka, it doesn't mean that I have to… to… - I'm going to go now. Bye."

Lulu shook her head with a sigh as Paine left. _'Poor girl,'_ she thought sadly. _'But it'll work out. I don't doubt that Lady Fate has a couple of words to say about their ignorance… It'll work out.'_

And with that thought she sat back down, reopened her book, and immediately all thoughts of the lesser sex were flushed from her mind.

-

The next day at school was a tough one for poor Rikku. Try as she might, she couldn't get Sir Auron off her mind. She _wanted_ him. Honest to God, she did. She wanted and she needed him- loved him, even. And all day, that was all she could think about- not least of all when 5th period Spirian History rolled about after lunch.

"Miss Rikku, you're… early?" he told her, absolutely astounded as she walked into the room10 minutes before bell.

"Am I?" she replied, distractedly, head burying in some book or other. It was upside down.

"Yes, you… Are you feeling alright?"

Rikku had just taken a seat smack bang in the middle of the front row.

"Fine, fine," Rikku affirmed, waving him off vaguely.

Auron's eyebrows furrowed slightly and he shook his head. "You're not," he said firmly. "What is it?"

"You _prefer_ me mucking about in class?" Rikku questioned snappishly. "Because I can do that too!"

"I'm _worried_ about you," Auron grunted out, snatching the book –'Muddle Earth'- from her hands and turning it the right way around for her.

Rikku just blushed and kept her eyes fixed on the page as Auron stared at her.

"Miss Rikku…"

'_Lalala!! I'm not listening!! And you are SO NOT HOT!! So there… Poopie-head… Yeah. Big, big Poopie-head…'_

"Miss Rikku, are you listening?"

'_Lalala!!'_

"…Rikku-chan?"

Rikku's head snapped up and her eyes widened in surprise all of a sudden.

"Talk to me, Rikku-chan," Auron asked of her softly.

"Auron…"

At that moment the bell rang and students began to stream through the door, effectively silencing both of them and causing Auron to back away from Rikku's desk quickly so as to avoid suspicion. His eyes, however, never left hers and his meaning was clear: she'd be staying after school again today.

-

Gippal followed Rikku out of class as the lunch bell rang but she didn't seem to be in the mood to talk to him- or anyone, really.

"D'you wanna go off campus for lunch?" he offered, hoping to cheer her up a little with his suggestion.

"Nah, don't feel like it," Rikku replied glumly.

"Well, will ya tell me what's the matter?"

No reply for a while, then- "Nothing really… I'm just still in holiday-mode, y'know? Classes are wearing me out." Rikku smiled reassuringly. "I'll be right in a li'l bit, so no worries, okay?"

"Yeah… okay," Gippal agreed grudgingly. "I guess I'll go on out then. Walk you home later?"

"Sorry- detention," Rikku replied. "Tomorrow for sure."

"Whatever…"

"Rikku! May I speak to you for a moment?"

Rikku and Gippal glanced up simultaneously as Miss Lulu, the black magic teacher, approached them, waving slightly.

"Yeah," Rikku agreed quickly, eager to get away from the complications of having another guy around- especially one whom she had professed to be attracted to only a few _days_ ago. Though it really seemed that that had passed in favour of… the Unmentionable.

"Good," Lulu replied with a small smile. "You wouldn't mind waiting outside the staffroom for a minute, would you? I have something to sort out first."

"Of course," said Rikku and, with a small wave at Gippal, she ran off too wait in the desired spot.

Lulu also farewelled him, with something of a disdainful look about her, before hurrying in the opposite direction and leaving him alone.

-

Ten minutes or so later found Rikku and Lulu sitting the most secluded booth of the restaurant down the road, talking quietly.

"I swear, my heart tingled, Miss Lulu! He called me 'Rikku-chan' and my heart just… just _tingled_!!"

Lulu smiled at Rikku sadly and nodded. She understood, of course- she was still coming to grips with her love for Wakka, as well- someone whom she should never even considered falling for- just as Sir Auron was for Rikku. "I'm sorry," she said. "But you do know that you can't go on pretending like everything's fine, don't you? Even if Sir Auron were to fall for you- even if he already has- it would be… well, you are only a child! It would be punishable by law, for one, and also-"

"Miss Lulu, I love him..."

Lulu felt her heart break at that and she had to resist the strong motherly urge to reach across and hold the younger girl. "I'm sorry," was all she could say.

"If it were anyone else, it wouldn't be a bad thing, Miss Lulu! Why did I have to fall for _him_?"

Lulu sighed softly. "Sometimes you can't help things like that…" she told her miserably. "All I can say is that it's best for you to forget about him and move on."

"I wish it didn't matter…" Rikku murmured to herself.

"I wish…" Lulu almost whispered in reply, knowing that she had divulge something of herself in order to comfort the poor girl. "…Sometimes I wish that I never fell for Chappu."

Rikku looked up in surprise.

"If I had never fallen for him it would not have hurt so much to see him go." It was not embarrassment that made her avoid Rikku's eyes but shame. She had loved Chappu and shared many good times with him, yet here she was regretting them.

"Who was Chappu?" asked Rikku quietly.

"Wakka's younger brother. We were engaged." Deep pain was etched across Lulu's face as she dragged open the old wound. "But two years ago there was a car crash. Chappu was killed and I was badly injured… Now I wish that I had never even fallen for him."

"I'm sorry," said Rikku, unsure what else she _could_ say as the older woman opened herself up to her.

"I hid away my pain and tried to be strong- for Paine, and for Wakka. I didn't allow myself to heal and so it still hurts." A trembling white hand came to rest at Lulu's breast as she continued to speak, gaze averted from Rikku's face. "Rikku, I want you to cry, speak, sing- anything that will help you mourn your love for him. Don't hide it away as I did, else you will become bitter and begin to regret the best years of your life…" Finally she looked up. "You will become afraid to love again- deathly afraid. Please don't injure yourself in that way."

"I promise to try, Miss Lulu," Rikku agreed and the two of them shared a quick, rather awkward hug before standing up and preparing to leave.

"If you need help…" Lulu offered again as they parted.

"You too, Miss Lulu," said Rikku. "Good luck with the man you are afraid to love, okay?"

Lulu smiled and nodded. "Thank you. I'll always be around if you need me."

A sad smile passed over Rikku's face and though she agreed, she was determined never to need Miss Lulu's help again. She was going to have to forget about her Sir Auron.


	6. The End Of The World?

Chapter 5:

**Chapter 5: The End Of The World… Or A New Beginning**

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

Me and Baralai…

Just two days ago it was a completely ridiculous idea but now it's starting to take hold. This morning when I met him outside my locker I… My heart, it… Somehow I…

I think I love him.

But if I love him now, did I love him _then_? How, and how long? And why, Goddammit? _Why_ did I have to fall for him??

"Paine? Paine?"

I shake my head, forcing myself back to attention.

"Paine, are you alright?"

Lulu looks concerned. Our classes are in the same general direction but we are almost at the turn where we part ways. I keep silent up until that point and then turn without a word. I can feel her sad eyes on the back of my head but I can't talk to her right now. I need to do something about Baralai.

-

_Narrative POV_

"Well if it isn't Paine Keller."

The sickly sweet voice of Lenne Karroi was not a welcome sound to the poor love struck teen. "Bugger off," she muttered under her breath.

"Somebody's cranky," one of her blonde cronies by name of Le Blanc giggled loudly.

"Yeah, what's got your knickers in a knot?" Dona snickered.

"Or rather: _who_?" The three of them snickered raucously and Paine rolled her eyes.

"Get out of my way," she snapped. "I have a class to get to."

"Aww, lookit! Little Goody Two Shoes Paine doesn't want to be late for class!" Lenne cooed. "Are we going to get mommy to intervene again?"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Paine muttered.

"'Girls! Break it up, _immediately!_'" she went on in a bad, high-pitched imitation of Lulu.

"Shut up."

"I'm _ashamed_ of you, Paine! You know better than to pick fights! What would your dear _mother_ say if she knew?"

"Shut up."

"'And _you three_ can get out of her before I decide to take it to the principal!'"

This time Paine didn't say anything, instead landing a hard punch right smack bang in the middle of Lenne's perfectly plastic nose. A spurt of blood issued from said lump of plastic and Lenne clasped her hands over her face and cried out loudly. "She _hit_ me!!" she screeched and soon a teacher from a nearby classroom had run out to see what the fuss was about.

"Why are you four not in cla- _Paine Keller!!_ To the principal's office, this instant!!" the teacher cried. "Good Lord, I'm afraid that nose is broken… Dona, you may escort Lenne to Sister, and Le Blanc, you may return to class. Honestly!! Fighting in the hallways! What next?" She slammed the door loudly and a shaky smirk appeared on Lenne's face.

"To the principal's office," she reminded her bitchily and Paine had to restrain herself to keep from hitting her again. Instead, she leered close to Lenne's face and snarled viciously.

"If you dare insult me or my friends or my _mother_ ever again I will break more than your nose, you little _bitch_!"

"Just try!" Lenne jeered as she turned away, but there was a definite edge to her voice and Paine was satisfied with that.

Adjusting her books slightly, she also turned and prepared to leave.

-

"Paine, I'm so disappointed in you," Lulu sighed as the two of them sat outside of the principal's office, waiting to speak with her.

"Don't even start on that, Lulu. I fucking know," Paine snapped irritably, sitting slumped back with both her arms and her legs crossed in the most defensive way.

"Don't swear at me, and I _am_ disappointed," Lulu insisted. "Not only because of the fight but because you don't tell me these things anymore- I have to figure it out on my own. I can't _be_ everywhere, Paine."

"God forbid," Paine muttered. "I just want you to leave me alone."

Lulu looked down sadly and nodded. "I can do that too… but I really wish you'd talk to me."

Paine didn't reply and the two of them lapsed, once again, into a miserable sort of silence.

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

Tidus is so cute… I dropped my pencil today in Ancient Spirian and he picked it up for me!! And yes, I did it on purpose, right next to his desk, but still!! Speaking of Ancient Spirian, I have no idea where Paine was today- I swear I saw her this morning at her locker but she wasn't in class. I hope she's okay- it's not like her to skip or anything like that…

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

Paine reappeared mid-way through lunch looking cranky. When Rikku asked her about it she only told her to ask Lenne, which we couldn't of course, because she hasn't been in class all day… Oh well, here comes Baralai. Maybe he'll get something out of her.

-

_Narrative POV_

Paine glanced up as Baralai pulled out a chair at their table and immediately blushed. How had she not noticed him coming earlier?

"Hey, guys," he said, looking specifically at Paine, who avoided his gaze for the sheer ease of it. "Hey, _Paine_."

As this was directed specifically at her, Paine looked up with a small inward sigh. "'Lai," she acknowledged him.

"Something wrong?" This said as he sat down beside her.

"No, nothing." This, as she inched her chair slightly away from his.

Baralai frowned at her slightly but nodded. "How is everyone?" Once again, the question was directed at Paine.

"Why don't you ask _them_?" she replied snappishly.

Baralai looked a little sad but obliged anyway. "Guys?"

"Good." "Fine." "Sure." All sounded at once from Yuna, Rikku and Gippal and then there was silence again.

After a while, Gippal stood up. "Hey, Ree- I need to talk to Sir Auron for a minute about last night's homework, then I'm going down to the store for a minute to get a new fill of paper for my binder. D'you wanna come?" he asked, grinning hopefully.

Rikku stood up unthinkingly. "Sure, whatever," she agreed and then, to the rest of their friends she added, "See you later, guys," before leaving with Gippal.

Without a word, the others all returned to their meals and Paine was fully aware that it was her grouchiness that was making everyone uncomfortable. On that note, she decided to leave. "I'm out too," she said vaguely as she stood, only needing to catch Baralai's eye for a moment or so before he too climbed to his feet.

"I'll come with you," he replied instantly and, with one last wave to their friends, the two of them also left, Baralai stopping and turning to question her as soon as they were out in the hall.

"What's wrong with you today?" he asked, not unkindly.

"Broke Lenne's nose this morning," Paine replied with a shrug, but Baralai knew her too well.

"That's nothing to be upset about. It's something else, isn't it?"

Paine just nodded silently and started walking again.

"Will you tell me what it is?" asked Baralai, easily catching her up.

"Not right now," Paine replied.

Baralai looked as though he were about to protest- spin off some lecture about how it'd be 'good for her' or something like that- but he changed his mind just in time and, instead, chose to just nod acceptingly. "Okay," he agreed. "But when you do want to talk about it… Any time, you know?"

A small smile tweaked the corners of Paine's pale pink lips and she nodded. "I'll take you up on that," she agreed. "But for now…"

"I understand. …Hey, we've still got a half hour or so left of lunch- do you want to do something?"

Paine, who had been walking in the general direction of the library, glanced up with a smile. "Sure. I'd love to."

-

"Say, Gippy, where're we going again?" asked Rikku, regaining a little of her former frivolity as she bounced along next to him.

"Jus' to see Sir Auron for a minute," said Gippal, shrugging coolly. "I need to ask him about last night's homework-" He broke off here, intrigued by the rare shade of white that Rikku's face had turned. "Come on, Riks- it'll just take a minute."

Rikku opened her mouth in preparation to spin off some story about how she had to be somewhere else but no words came and she just closed it again hopelessly. "Yeah, I know," she said. "Nothing wrong with that, I suppose."

Gippal grinned and changed the subject. "So, how you been doing lately? You're awfully quiet."

"Ah, it's nothing really," Rikku assured him, waving her hands around extravagantly. "I'll be right in a jiff."

"That's good- Oh! Hey, Sir Auron! Awesome timing!" Gippal called out as he caught sight of their Ancient Spirian teacher approaching from the opposite direction. "Can I get your help on something quickly?"

Auron glanced between Gippal and Rikku, who blushed deeply, then nodded, gesturing into a nearby classroom.

"Thanks, sir!" Gippal exclaimed, parading on in.

Auron offered a light smile to Rikku, who returned it, albeit a little shakily, and then also went inside.

10 minutes later, Gippal was through with his query, but Sir Auron wasn't quite done with Rikku.

"You don't mind me borrowing her, do you, Gippal?" he asked firmly. "I need a little help with something."

Gippal shrugged easily. "Fine with me. I'll go ahead to get my paper, then I'll be in the caf with the others whenever you finish up, Riks." With a final wave goodbye, Gippal was out the door and it was swinging shut behind him.

"Traitor…" Rikku muttered to herself and Auron frowned.

"Miss Rikku, I don't know if she told you but, Miss Lulu spoke to me about you," he told her quietly, causing Rikku's head to shoot up.

"No way!" she exclaimed, horrified. "She would never!!"

Auron nodded slowly. "She is not one to take the confidence of others lightly," he agreed, "So, though you can rest assured that nothing you said to her has been repeated, for her to so much as mention your being upset means that she has been extremely worried about you."

"Yeah, I guess," Rikku sighed, looking down again.

"Rikku, I want to make it clear to you now that _nothing happened_ that afternoon during detention. As far as I'm concerned, I am still your teacher, and you are still my student."

"Thanks…"

"Please just forget about it, Rikku- I already have."

This was little consolation for Rikku, however. In fact, it only served to enrage her. "I _can't_ forget about it!" she exclaimed. "It was the closest I've ever been to you and I… I really liked it, Sir Auron!"

Auron sighed softly and sat down at a desk across from when Rikku had sat herself down earlier. "I don't think I've handled this situation very well…"

"Why does it have to be handled?! I like you!!" Rikku burst out angrily. "I don't want to 'forget about it' or 'set it aside'- I want to be with you!!"

"Rikku… You're just a girl," Auron reminded her quietly.

"But I love you…" Rikku whispered, disgusted by the pleading note to her voice.

"Yevon… Why does this have to be so difficult…?" Auron muttered. "Look, Rikku, I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression-"

"You didn't," Rikku sighed grudgingly. "I'm sorry. I never meant to say any of this, just… I couldn't say it to Lulu- she just kept _dismissing it_. She'd say that she understood –that it was just like her and her past love, or whatever- but she didn't understand at all!! You're not dead, Sir Auron- you're _right there_. You just don't want me… Lulu'd never have to deal with that. She's so pretty…"

"Rikku, enough of that," Auron growled softly. "I am not doing this because I want to and you are not making it easy for me!"

"Well, then why are you doing it, Sir Auron??" Rikku cried, jumping to her feet. "If we both want it, then it's nobody else's business, right?!"

"I never said… It's complicated, Rikku. You need to find someone your own age."

"But-!"

"My word is final, Rikku," Auron told her firmly, and, once again, his way of taking control of the situation only furthered her anger.

Furiously, she grabbed him, where he sat in his chair, by the lapels of his coat and jerked his lips up to hers. It was a desperate act and she loathed herself for it, and yet… it felt so good to finally be able to do it. The two of them stayed frozen like that for a few seconds, before Auron ended it, taking her hand gently and prying it away from his shirt before pulling back to look at her face sadly.

Tears now streaming down her face, Rikku took a step back as Auron stood. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, then she ran away.

-

"Baralai…?"

Baralai glanced up from his lemonade in surprise, having apparently been deep in thought about something or other for quite some time. "Yeah, what-?" He stopped at the look he saw on Paine's face and nodded understandingly. "Go ahead. Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's something Lulu said," Paine began slowly.

"About Rikku?" asked Baralai, causing his friend to glance up quickly in surprise.

A short silence ensued, but when it came to it, Paine didn't deny the claim. "Yeah," she replied with a small sigh. "About Rikku."

"You don't need to worry about Rikku," Baralai told her sympathetically. "She can take care of herself… well, sort of."

"Yeah… but the 'sort of' is what I was worried about."

-

"Hey. Rikku, ya?"

Rikku, who had collapsed behind some lockers in the hallway, crying her eyes out, glanced up quickly as the red-haired blitzball coach crouched down to her level. "Huh?" she hiccoughed quietly.

"You right there?"

Rikku was about to nod, but seemed to change her mind and shook her head instead.

"You wanna talk?"

"Nn… Do you know where Miss Lulu is?" Rikku sniffled.

"Sure, I just left her," Wakka replied, standing up and extending a hand down to her kindly. "Want me to take you?"

Rubbing her eyes with her sleeve, Rikku hastened to her feet. "Thanks, Coach."

"No problem, kid," Wakka replied and he led her off.

-

"You let her kiss you, Auron?!" Lulu cried as Wakka and Rikku entered the staffroom silently. "How could you be so foolish?"

"Maybe we should come back later, ya?" Wakka whispered to her, but Rikku refused, putting a finger to her lips warningly.

"It wasn't my intention to mislead her," Auron replied gruffly.

"And yet you let her kiss you! Auron… honestly! There isn't much worse you could have done than seek her out again- she was determined to forget about you."

"Well, she was doing a piss poor job of it!" Auron retaliated. "Your advice made that poor girl miserable!"

"It was necessary!"

"No it _wasn't_! Just because of what happened between you and Chappu-!"

Beside Rikku, Wakka inhaled sharply. A loud, rather painful sounding slap resonated throughout the miraculously empty staffroom.

"How _dare_ you presume to know anything about me!" she exclaimed, the look in her eyes absolutely murderous.

"I know that you've been hurt more than you let on," Auron told her firmly, not even cringing under her harsh glare. "But just because you've been hurt before-"

"That girl needs to learn that she's nothing more she can do, Auron! It could never work out between you and her!!"

"I _know_ that!" Auron replied, clenching a fist in his frustration and bringing it down on the desk between them with a thump. "I pulled away as soon as I realized what was happening. Is it honestly such a crime that, in that moment, I may have wanted it? You don't know what it's _like_ -damn hell, Lulu- wanting someone you can't have!"

"Of course I do-!"

"No! You _don't_! Wakka is standing right in front of you! He practically worships the ground you stand on and you don't even seem to care! But I know that you love him! It's only the feelings that you once had for his brother that're in the way. Only _you_!" Auron anger fizzled out all of a sudden and he just sighed tiredly. "Damn hell, Lulu. You have no idea... I _love _her…"

"Auron…" Rikku whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "Auron…"

Auron glanced up at that, an unreadable expression on his face. Moments later he was out the door, letting it slam behind him in his hasty retreat.

Lulu rushed over to Wakka and Rikku, cursing softly to herself along the way.

"Lu-" Wakka began, but he wasn't allowed to finish that thought..

"How much of that did you two hear?" Lulu demanded snappishly.

"How much more of it was there?" asked Rikku, wiping her eyes determinedly.

Lulu put a hand to her head, closing her eyes in silent suffering. Eventually, she opened them again. "Rikku, you can't think…"

"I know," she replied miserably and she, too, left, leaving Wakka alone with Lulu.

"And, Wakka, I-"

"It's okay, Lu."

Lulu shook her head and, amazingly, started to cry. It was almost as though he entire world were falling apart. "This isn't my fault," she whispered, pleadingly. "I'm right aren't I? …I just wanted to help!"

"Lu…" Wakka took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. "…Don't cry. You did your best, ya."

Lulu buried her face in his shoulder and tightened her arms around his waist. "No… Maybe I've been wrong all along, Wakka… Do you think it could work between those two?"

Wakka just shook his head. "Whatever happens, it's for the two of them to figure out, Lu," he told her gently. "You got enough to worry about at the moment, ya?"

Lulu smiled a little and leaned up to kiss his cheek lightly. "Come on. The bell's about to ring," she told him softly. "And… thank you, Wakka. Thank you."


	7. Not

_**AN. It's a bird! It's a plane!! No, it's an UPDATE!! Haha, wtf, no it's not, that's CRAZY!!**_

**-**

**Chapter 6: **

On Monday 19th of February at 2:23 pm Sir Auron handed in his resignation forms to Mr Beclem, the principal at Besaid High. They had been sitting, all filled out, on his desk for several weeks but he had never been able to bring himself to give them in before now. The incident with Rikku had gone way too far and, much as he regretted it and much as he _loathed_ the idea of running away, it was time for him to go. All of a sudden and without the necessary warning, Sir Auron disappeared from Besaid High, and from Her life, altogether.

-

_Two Months Later_

-

Lulu smiled sadly as Wakka leaned across the table to leave a soft little kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry," she apologized, catching his eye easily. "I was in another world."

"What's wrong?" asked her boyfriend, turning his head and following her gaze confusedly. Then, he saw it: Rikku, sitting with Gippal a couple of tables away. He seemed to be talking animatedly—gesticulating wildly as he did so—whereas _she_ was even further off than Lulu had been, staring into her empty glass of strawberry milk and twirling her straw absently.

"This has gone on far too long," Lulu told him, referring to Rikku's constant depression. "I never should have tried to keep her away from him."

"You did what you thought was best, Lu. It's complicated," Wakka assured her comfortingly, but Lulu was hardly listening.

"No. That's it. I need to fix things now. I can't just leave her broken like that."

Wakka merely nodded understandingly. "Tell me how I can help, ya?"

-

"You want me to do what?"

"Go to this address and ask for Sir Auron," Lulu repeated desperately. "Please? Wakka will go with you!"

Paine tossed an odd glance over at Wakka then shook her head. "No. You've got to do it, Lu. You started this."

"Jus' what I said," Wakka agreed, though he, unlike her, probably would have done it regardless.

"But, I can't just go and talk to him! He probably hates me!" Lulu whined desperately.

"Lu. Just ask him to come back. Tell him that we need him, and that _she_ needs him," said Paine, stepping forward to put a hand on her foster mother's shoulder lightly. "I can tell you now that he won't be able to stay away."

Lulu pouted unconsciously. "He won't want to see the likes of me again anytime soon."

"Stop acting like a child. You know he'd appreciate it," said Paine, and then she, with Wakka close behind, made an exit and left their friend to her thoughts.

-

_Diary a la Rikku…_

"Rikku?"

I wiped the tears away super fast when I heard her voice. Of all people, I couldn't let _her_ know I was still upset over him—not after how hard she'd tried to be there for me. "Yeah, Miss Lulu?"

It wasn't even like I was _constantly_ in tears, either! I'm not _that bad!_ It just always seemed to be the moment she turned the corner, or appeared at my lonely little table (the days when sitting with the others just seemed to be too much drama) that I had the most trouble. It was just dumb luck, really.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

I shrugged a little. Really, I wished that she wouldn't—I have a horrible inability to hide it when I'm upset. Really horrible. So I knew she'd figure it out immediately.

"Seats empty, isn't it?" I ended up saying, when apparently she needed a little more clarification than that, and even I winced at the sound of it.

"Rikku, I'm so sorry that he's gone," she told me immediately as she did so, and I _knew_ that she was, so how could I be mad?—that'd never been what she meant for me.

"It's okay," I found myself saying. But was it? "It's probably for the best." I wasn't sure about that either and she knew it right away.

"Do you really believe that?" she asked me and I frowned deeply.

I _wanted_ to. _Needed_ to, with him gone. But…

"No." A tear escaped, then. "But I can't blame him, can I, really? He couldn't fix me so he left me broken. What else could he do?"

"He could have stayed," Miss Lulu told me firmly. "He could have worked it out with you maturely."

"You don't know how hard that would have been for us…"

Miss Lulu seemed disappointed by my rationalisation. Maybe she expected more from me, maybe less. There didn't seem to be much of a difference anymore.

"But you're not happy with him gone, are you?" she pressed. "Not anymore."

And I couldn't answer her at first. My voice had choked up again. I _wanted_ to be happy. I _tried_ to be happy—she had to know that I was _trying_, so hard! I'd even let Gippal _kiss_ me the other day—the first person since Sir Auron that day in the classroom! …But then I'd had to tell him 'sorry, but I can't,' and he'd been upset. I was upset too. I was disappointed in me for causing him pain, and angry because I still cared about Auron, despite my _best_ efforts—honestly, my _best_!

Eventually I managed to tell her: "Last time Pops came home, he didn't visit, you know?" It had been the thing that hurt the most, I'd found. "Pops asked me if Auron had been at school recently—maybe he was ill or something—and I told him he'd left and he was so shocked! 'But he loved his job,' he said, and I felt so _incredibly_ awful, Miss Lulu! You can't even imagine! I couldn't tell him that I was the reason he'd done it."

Miss Lulu nodded sympathetically but she seemed to be struggling with something in her mind and not wholly there.

"Miss Lulu, are _you_ okay?"

A weak smile here. "Do you want him to come back, Rikku? Would you welcome that?" she asked.

And my heart stopped. Just… _stopped_. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. Eventually I managed to choke out, "…_Is_ he coming back?" It almost killed me to ask—the words didn't want to leave my throat, it seemed, because they left only barely, choked and breathless.

"Well, I'm prepared to ask him," Miss Lulu told me, and her eyes were so firm on my face—trying so hard to judge my reaction—that I thought they'd bore right through me. How did Paine manage to _live_ with that sort of scrutiny?? "…But only if that's what you want, Rikku. I'd only do it if it's what you wanted."

And I _did_ want it. _Desperately_. But was that enough?

"Don't you think that that'd… that that'd make it harder for me?" I managed and still that same look from before. I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or not, but I knew that she was sad for me. 'You've changed,' she told me, without words, and I replied that I knew. That I was sorry. That I'd had to change.

"I think it's going to be hard either way," Miss Lulu admitted, "but I—I promise not to give you any more advice, seeing how treacherous that has been to you."

"But, Miss Lulu… You'd never approve, would you? Of me and Auron. Not really."

I was being sensible, I knew, and I hated it.

"I think… that a lot of people could never approve of you and Auron, Rikku," was the careful reply. "It's against the law, for one thing… But if you're prepared to suffer two more years of chastity in return the rest of your life with that man… and if he's prepared to do the same, of course, then I'm willing to overlook it, and besides that, there's nothing more I, or anyone else, for that matter, can do."

"…Well, I'm going to think about it, Miss Lulu," I said eventually. "Really long and hard, and— Maybe I can search out Auron and he can think about it too, okay? …But I'm not going to be silly anymore. I've grown up."

I knew that I was crying as I said this, and I could _feel_ Miss Lulu's urge to hold me just _emanating_ from her, because that was the sort of sweet, motherly person that she was.

"You haven't, Rikku," she told me quietly. "Loss… that's not what growing up is about. It's about gain—about new experiences. And seriousness… has nothing to do with it! Please don't make yourself believe that you have to be miserable to be 'grown up'; it's only going to end up hurting you worse and worse for every time you try."

"I'm going to think about it," I repeated then. "And I'm going to make the decision that's best for him—not just for me. I think that's what I need to do."

And Miss Lulu said, "Good," and then she left.

I think she couldn't bear to be around me any longer.

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

Rikku seems to be falling back into her holiday habits already, it seems—though we've still got a few weeks left to bear through. It's almost eight already and she's still in bed. I have to have been calling her for at least twenty minutes.

"Is she still upstairs?"

Tearing my gaze away from the staircase, I directed it back to Tidus, sitting across the breakfast table from me and chomping down on some toast lazily. "Tidus, why aren't you at school yet?" I asked, somewhat reproachingly, at which he simply shrugged—

"Mum made me leave the house without breakfast so I wouldn't be late, and since you always leave your back door open…"

Rolling my eyes, I glanced back up the stairs, only to find her sliding down the banister and beaming like I haven't seen her beam in months.

"Hell-_ooo_, Yunie! You're looking flushed! Don't tell me Tidy-Widy, here, stayed the night?" she giggled immediately, upon presenting her perfect landing, but I couldn't be mad, of course. It'd been a long time since she'd slid down the banister too.

"What's got you so chipper?" I asked instead and she just flashed that big, bright smile at me again.

"I'm just in a good mood's all!" she told me, snatching a couple of pieces of the toast Tidus had prepared off the rack, much to his disdain. "How thoughtful," she said to him, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously and I gave her a little kick for that. "Joking, Yunieee… So what're you all doing sitting around here? Shouldn't you be at school by now, little geeks?"

"We were _waiting_ for you!" I snapped, but she wasn't put off at all—only grinned in reply.

"Then _why_ haven't you brushed your hair yet?"

"!!"

-

_Narrative P.O.V._

"_Pai-aine, Baralai's here!"_

"I'm COMING."

Lulu shook her head lightly at the resounding yell and turned back to Baralai with a smile. "Have you eaten yet?" she asked politely as he fidgeted around.

"Yes," he replied, "My mother never lets me leave the house until I've had a full breakfast. She says it's very important."

Lulu beamed at this. "So it is… _Paine!! NOW!_ …Sorry about this. She's not usually one to take forever in the shower…"

"I'm _out_ of the shower, you deaf old hag. The shower was off thirty minutes ago!"

"Then what's _taking_ so long??"

Lulu's smile for Baralai was becoming awkward now, and he asked politely if she'd rather he wait outside, if she was uncomfortable. She said, "no of course not," because she was very polite too.

Still, the waiting was almost excruciating for them both.

"_Paine!"_ Lulu would yell up whenever she felt the need to distract herself and Paine would merely yell "_Coming!!"_ to appease her a few more seconds.

"Would you mind if I went up and found out what's taking her, Miss Lulu?"

She nodded shortly and he did so presently, knocking three times firmly on her door. The way she wrenched it open, he'd say that she'd probably been expecting her mother to be the one to fetch her. As it was, she almost dropped the phone in surprise, then, as she gathered her wits about her, told him to get in and shut up.

He did so.

"…So, she came down the stairs—"

"—_On the banister, yes. Smiling like anything to top it off!! And then from the moment she's down she's making jokes and teasing the hell out of Tidus and me—"_

"Tidus was there?" —Suggestive.

"_Isn't Baralai **there**?"_ —Defensive.

"Touché… But I really don't know what to tell you, Yuna. I mean, I honestly haven't a clue. I'd ask Lulu if I thought she'd tell me but… well, you know her."

"_Right, well… I've gotta go, we're here."_

"At school?"

"_Yeah. Aren't you?"_

"No."

"_It's almost 8:30. We thought **we** were cutting it fine…"_

"What the—!" Paine covered the mouthpiece and tried again. "Baralai why the _fuck_ didn't you tell me it was almost 8:30??"

He gestured toward himself, with eyebrows raised incredulously as if to say 'well, what did you _think_ I was doing here??'

"Bugger… See you in 5, maybe 10, Yuna. Bye!"

She hung up without waiting for a reply and ran out the door down the stairs just as her Lulu called out for the umpteenth time in her growing frustration.

"I hope you know what time it is, young lady!"

"Yup. Do." —Fetching her bag off the counter.

"_And..?_ You have _what_ to say for yourself??"

"…Rikku's happy again "

-

"She's happy again, Wakka. Yuna called Paine this morning with the news…" Lulu seemed at a loss for what to say. "She said that she just… slid down the banister with the— the _hugest_ smile, just like nothing had ever happened! …_God_, Wakka! How could I have sacrificed that smile??"

"You did what you thought was best, ya?" Wakka comforted her. "But you know what this means, don't you?"

She didn't.

"It means she's made her decision. About whether or not she wants Sir Auron to come back."

Of course. Damn it, of _course_ it did. She needed to find her…

Wakka seemed to know what she was thinking. "Don't go after her just yet, ya? Talkin' to you about dis… seems to be a rather soberin' matter for her. Best to let her live it out as long as possible."

"You're right… What should I do, Wakka?"

Wakka blinked at the weight of what was now suddenly his decision. "I— I dunno, really. I guess that's your decision to make, ya?"

"And if I make the wrong on…?"

"You've done it before and you'll do it again."

"Thanks, Wakka."

"…That didn't come out right, ya?"

"No, it didn't. But thank you," she smiled too now. "It was what I needed to hear."

_She kissed him, and then left, still smiling, and walking past Rikku in the hall, she only smiled wider._


	8. Of Things To Come

**Chapter 7**

"Where's Mr Beclem?" asked Yuna in a confused reference to their 1st period Spirian History substitute, usually so apt in his promptness.

"Couldn't tell you," Rikku replied lazily as she doodled on the previous night's homework—supposedly an essay on Pre-Cataclysmic Spira, for those of them who had done it.

Smiling her amusement, Yuna glanced over her friend's shoulder, expecting a mess of bunnies, with insults springing from their mouths in perfect little bubbles, but was shocked immediately into silence for a whole minute by what she saw in it's place. "Rikku… You've… you've _completed_ your Spirian History homework!!"

"So, I have," she agreed with a little grin. "A small price to pay for…"

"Excuse my lateness, year 11. It's a bit of a commute from my new home. I'll get better at it."

The class' eyes seemed to turn to saucers immediately and all shuffling ceased.

"Sir Auron, you're back!" someone exclaimed, after a few moments' silence.

"Of course, what did they tell you? That I wouldn't?" he replied in feigned surprised. "Actually, my mother had been ill, and so I've moved closer to her in order to take better care of her. Now that she's doing better, I've felt able to return to work.." His eyes roved over the classroom then, daring any one of them to debate his story, but the only scepticism he found came in the form of Rikku's blinding smile, which he had to admit made his heart flutter for a moment even then. "…Miss Rikku, you're on _time_!" he exclaimed exaggeratedly, passing his infatuation off as astonishment. "Could it be that you only see fit to come late to a class when you can be sure that _I_ will be teaching it?"

"Could be, sir," she replied in the usual tone and he flashed her a very small but rare smile before turning to the board and beginning the lesson.

He was back.

She smiled giddily at the thought.

So was _she_.

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

Rikku didn't so much as glance at Sir Auron as we left class, nor did she mention the miracle of his return once we'd escaped into the hallway, as I'd expected her to. In fact, it wasn't until lunchtime, when I caught up with Paine that I heard the full of it. I found her by our lockers just before the lunch bell, speaking with Miss Lulu, who was standing in front of mine. I smiled awkwardly as Paine looked up and saw me coming. Goodness gracious… one teacher/student affair is already about as much as I can handle, if Paine and Miss Lulu turn out to be seeing each other as well, then I don't know what I'll do. What _is_ it with my friends and older men… well, an older woman in Paine's case. And I never knew? Odd, but I'd always pegged her with Baralai…

Goodness gracious, indeed.

"Afternoon, Yuna," Miss Lulu said to me, smiling, and as I couldn't get past her to my locker, I was forced to smile back and engage in conversation.

"Good afternoon, Miss."

"How are you finding the more complex spells I've set you?" she inquired, as Paine continued to jam books gracelessly into her overflowing locker beside me and I replied that I was doing quite well, thank you. Enjoying them. "But you'd tell me if I was expecting too much?"

"Of course, Miss."

She seemed at a loss for what to say then, apparently wondering why I was just standing there and completely unaware that she was blocking my path. It was Paine who alerted her to this, and she looked suitably embarrassed as she backed away. I was equally so, and made quick work of organising my books into their neat little piles and balancing my pencil case carefully on top. As I did so, however, Paine and Miss Lulu began talking again, more quietly than before, and I sighed, wondering how I hadn't realised before. I mean, of course I'd realised that they seemed to talk more than most and, well I'd noticed Miss Lulu's protectiveness of her too, come to think of it… but I'd just never thought—

"Hey, Lu."

Mr Wakka.

"How ya doing, babe?"

Miss Lulu smiled at that and leaned up to kiss his cheek gently. "Call me that again, and that'll be the end of it, darling," she warned, and though her tone was firm she was smiling like I'd never seen her smile before. I glanced at Paine in surprise, but saw no note of jealousy on her face. In fact, she was smiling too, like she couldn't have been happier.

"Sure thing, babe."

I almost expected her to explode then, but she only smiled wider, and Paine even laughed!!

…So perhaps I had been wrong about _that_… but Rikku and Auron? I hadn't just imagined that had I? I couldn't have— it was so plain to see how she'd been hurting since he'd gone, and yes I was a little hurt that she'd never told me herself, but it had to be a very sensitive subject, didn't it? So it's not like I could blame her.

"Are you coming?" Wakka asked, and Lulu nodded warmly.

A look passed between her and Paine then, however: one that I couldn't quite describe, but which most definitely surpassed the sort of bonds that a teacher ought have with her students.

So I was confused again, and it must have showed, because when they'd gone and Paine turned back to face me she felt the need to explain to me that they'd been dating for about a month—happiest month of Lulu's life, it seemed.

I could only nod slowly and I was sure that I was gaping like a goldfish.

"Why are you so…?" It was her turn to gape then. "Wait a minute. …You thought I was pulling a 'Rikku' on Lulu?"

I winced. That was one way to put it, I supposed, and it certainly confirmed my suspicions about Rikku, in any case.

"Uhm… Aren't you? …Pulling a 'Rikku', I mean…"

She was laughing then, which was hardly fair, I thought. I mean, what else was I supposed to think?? It's not like she'd ever given me reason to believe otherwise!!

"Yuna, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for laughing." She was laughing as she said this. "But Lu is my mother. My foster mother. There is _nothing_ going on there, and she's been in love with Wakka for longer than I can say."

"Then you and Baralai…?"

"What on _earth_ has that to do with Baralai?"

I blushed deeply at that. "Nothing, I just thought…"

"No, you thought wrong."

The subject, Yuna. Change the subject.

"But…" I tried, "…Rikku and Auron…?"

She seemed to tense at that. "Not here," she told me, quietly and firmly. "Let's get lunch an I'll tell you then."

Unwilling to risk further embarrassment, I had to agree.

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

It took a while to make Yuna understand that I didn't have a clue what Rikku was planning, and when I finally got it across to her, she seemed more worried for my having told her anything at all.

"But what if she hasn't got a clue either?" she asked, with eyes wide. "What I mean is… what if Rikku's plan is 'just go with it'. It wouldn't be the first time!!"

"No… She knows how serious this is," I tried to reassure her. "She's matured, Rikku has."

"You didn't see her sliding down the banister this morning…"

"I don't mean like that," I sighed, shaking my head a little. "I mean… Look, just trust me that Rikku knows what she's doing. And Sir Auron wouldn't return if he didn't know it too or if he didn't think she could pull it off."

"But what if—"

"You've just gotta believe that she knows what she's doing, alright? And that he won't let anything happen to her."

"Must be the lovin' season, hm? Seems like everyone's getting together."

Though I might have been slightly paranoid, by this stage, I got the distinct impression that that statement there was a hint for me and Baralai, and decided to employ her tactic of changing the subject as quickly as possible. "So," I asked her, "how's your blitzer?"

I almost laughed as her eyes clouded over and she drifted away from me. "He's _gorgeous_, Paine," she sighed happily and I was glad for her, as she began to launch into story after story of what she'd been doing while I'd been worrying my ass off over Rikku and Lulu: movie nights, dinners out and all that jazz. She'd found that he could play video games like a god, she told me, and scoff cheeseburgers like nobody's business (which was somehow as endearing to her as it was disgusting to me), also that he had perfect pitch and could whistle the X-Files theme song better'n anyone she'd ever heard. This too, seemed to make him only better in her eyes, where anyone else might have classed him a geek or a glutton or a _weirdo_ and ditched him for any one of the things she'd told me.

Still, I was glad she was happy.

Though noticeably less so once she'd gotten back onto the subject of Baralai.

_Again_, dammit!

"But when are you going to tell him, Paine??" she asked me in total earnest, even though her previous influence in my love life might've had me fucking my foster mother on the side. "You can't leave it forever, ya know? He might get bored and walk away."

"He might, if he had anywhere else to go," I acquiesced, to which she replied simply that LeBlanc had been showing so interest lately…

"That was beneath the belt," I said. "And Baralai would never."

"Might just if ya don't ask him out soon…"

"You can't be serious that LeBlanc is interested, Yuna," could be my only defence. "Last I heard she was after Nooj."

"Nooj is with Lucil."

I could feel my mouth fall open at that, and then close again like a gaping fish. "The _bitch_."

"Well, it's not like you're going out or anything…"

"We might as well be!!"

"There's talk she's going to ask him to the dance. It's girls ask boys, y'know, so you can't expect an invitation from him either, 'n nobody wants to go alone..."

I glared at her then, because it was all I could think to do. "I'll… look, I'll ask him okay? But not yet."

"Better hurry u-up…"

I was getting sick of the teasing note in her voice.

"I'll fucking _ask_ him, Yuna, when I'm fucking _ready_ to. Leave off it!!"

She froze, and did so.

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

As it was, confrontation about the dance came more quickly than I was able to ready myself for it, and despite what Yuna had said, it came from Baralai.

"LeBlanc's asked me to the dance," he told me flatly, as he stood outside on the front step, and I tried my best not to let on how that hurt me. Honestly tried.

"Right. Good for you."

He flinched at that. Visibly.

"_Paine, who's at the door??"_

Neither Baralai nor myself answered and I think he knew that if he made a wrong move the door would be closed in his face in just that instant. I only needed an excuse.

"Can I come in, Paine?"

I hesitated, pondered whether or not this was the excuse that I needed, decided it wasn't.

"It's Baralai!" I called back to Lulu, and I stepped out of the doorway to let him in.

He seemed relieved to have gotten this far.

"Glass of water? Soft drink?"

"Uhm, water. Thanks."

His throat seemed dry enough to warrant a lake. I wondered, did I frighten him that much?

"Go wait upstairs."

He reluctantly obliged.

Lulu gave me a funny look as I entered the kitchen. "You all right?" she asked, motherly concern etched into her forehead.

"Fine," I replied, setting about fetching the glasses and filling them from the tap.

"Planning to ask Baralai to the dance?" —Casually, offhandedly.

Damn her.

"Just told me he's going with LeBlanc," I managed gruffly, head down.

"Did he now?" she said, and paused before adding, "I only heard that she'd asked him—never that he'd accepted."

I tried to shrug like it made no difference to me either way, but it did. Of course it did. And despite my efforts, Lulu knew it.

"He might do, though, if you don't hurry up and ask him."

I wondered, how could she say that so calmly? Her and Yuna both?? They were _mocking_ me, dammit! Because they _knew_ how hard it was for me to do just that! Violently, I jerked back the tap and the water ceased. Then, without another word I stormed off toward my room, where the source of my problems awaited me.

_- _

_Diary a la Rikku!!_

"Hey Auron," I said, with a little grin as he opened his front door to me for the first time outside of my father's company. The solemn look on his face worried me a little, but as the door closed behind me I was able to see that it was feigned, to cover the joy that he oughtn't have been feeling at my arrival.

"Rikku," he said uncertainly, and I was kinda disappointed that he didn't call me 'Rikku-chan' again in that endearing little way that I loved.

"I really just wan'ed to thank you for coming back, Auron," I said, looking up at him with a half-hidden smile of my own. "You didn't have to, but I'm so glad that you did."

"I couldn't bear to think that you were suffering."

His voice was gruff with honesty and embarrassment and I loved the colour in his cheeks. I lifted a hand to touch one and it was beautifully warm.

He smiled a small smile at me and then he offered to make tea.

By the time we sat down, he was looking dangerously thoughtful and I had to ask him just what it was he was thinking about. He said, "You won't be coming late to class anymore will you, Rikku?" and I said, "No."

"No more writing those insolent little _translations_ of the lines I've given you, or listening to the radio in secret when no one else was around."

"No more detention parties," I sighed regretfully, referring to the time Yuna had entrusted me with the twenty-or-so cupcakes she'd made especially for Paine's birthday and Auron and I had eaten six of them in detention, whilst listening to said contraband radio. Every once in a while, since then, he'd bring cupcakes for us to eat whilst I served detention, but most of the time he just watched me write lines. My insolent 'translation' of them, anyway. And he laughed.

He laughed and it was like _music_ to my ears. I loved to hear him laugh, but more than anything, I loved to be the one to _make_ him laugh. It was such a rare thing, too—a privilege that was almost solely mine, and I loved that too. I was _special_ to him, I realised

"I'll miss them," he told me, and I heard the same regret in his tone that I'd heard in mine.

"So maybe I can get detention… _once_ in a while," I acquiesced. "I could come in late and pretend like I haven't done my homework and we could do something fun."

Auron refused however. Nothing at school. Nothing.

But we'd find a way. He promised me.

He told me he loved me more than anything in the world, and that he'd never felt any desire at all to return to his teenage years before now. From what little I understood they'd been awful, but he said that he'd do it for me, if he could. I said, of course not. 15 years wasn't going to matter when we were old and grey, and he wouldn't be my teacher forever.

Two years more, in fact, and then never again.

Two years.

_And then all the cupcakes we could want._


	9. The Rift

**Dear Faithful Readers,  
**Good Lord… it's been an age since I've updated this, but reading a new review (can't believe I'm still getting those) this morning has spurred me into action. Hope you guys are still lingering on because I'll be looking for an end to this in a bit. I'm extremely busy but I will try, at least =) Thanks for sticking around. Honestly, you guys are the best!  
Love Rissy

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

He gave me a helpless look as I entered the room. I found him sitting on the edge of my bed and leaning forward almost to the point of having his head in his hands. He seemed torn, desolate. I felt for him at once.

He straightened, however when he saw me come in and immediately stood to retrieve one of the water glasses from me. I watched him down it in one go and then sit down again, and I _wanted_ to sit down next to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Instead, I stood over him, and sipped my own water carefully, though this seemed only to make him fidget all the more.

When he spoke it was brusquely, with surprising bluntness.

"Are you going to ask me to the dance, Paine?"

My surprise was such that I couldn't answer.

"Because I thought that you would, and then I thought that you might and now I don't know." Frustration. Directed toward me. "But I'm not going alone," he said then, "And if you don't want to go with me, then I'll go with LeBlanc."

"But why _her_?" I managed and I wondered if he could hear what I was feeling—the jealously I felt just then. "You know that she and I… well we aren't friends at the best of times. You may recall my _breaking her nose_ a couple of months ago…?"

"Why? Because she _asked_ me, Paine! And because I'm tired of waiting around for you to, like everyone's told me you will, _eventually_."

"…But what did you say to her?" I asked, glancing the other way noncommittally.

He growled at me then. _Growled._ "It doesn't matter what I said. Fact is: I'm going to that dance with her unless you tell me otherwise. Because I'm _tired_ of waiting around for you if you're not coming. I'm tired of following you around like a _dog_ and waiting for you to _notice_ me—that I'm _here_ for you!" He softened, almost imperceptibly then and I think he must have caught the promise of tears collecting in my eyes, threatening to whisper down my half-turned cheek. "But I don't want to," he added. "I really don't want to… Except that… you can't assume that you can ask me at the last minute, or even not at all, and then expect me to just drop everything for you, Paine. I want to know now what you're planning, so I can make _my_ decisions accordingly. Am I going to the dance with _you_ or _LeBlanc_."

This is where I should have asked him. Would it really have been so hard? It was harder to see his face as I rejected him—denied my intentions, my ambitions. It would be harder still to watch him twirl in the arms of the person I hated most in the world. And I _so_ wanted to tell him that the only possible way I would come to the dance at all was on his arm, but instead I told him that I wasn't coming at all. "Go with LeBlanc," I said. "And see if I care."

Of course he left then—how could he stay after that?—and I was sure he was going off right then to tell LeBlanc that he was ready to accept her invitation, and I _hated _it.

I re-entered the kitchen scowling, and the fact that Wakka had since joined Lulu at the table only made it worse. I told her without looking at her that I was going out, and when she asked where and for how long, I said that I didn't know, and then I closed the door behind me, not expecting her to give chase.

"_Paine!_ For Yevon's _sake_, Paine. _Wait_ a moment!_!_"

I stopped halfway down the driveway, shaking in frustration.

"What's happened, Paine…?" She looked worried. Extremely so, I might add. But I couldn't ease her mind. "Your Baralai just _slammed_ the door as he left. _Baralai_," she reminded me, as if perhaps my tears could have obscured his retreating figure to the point where I could no longer recognise him. "Your Baralai _slammed the door."_

I wanted to make some snarky comment about the world ending as a direct result of this, but found myself unable to do so. Instead, I kept walking.

"_Paine!_ Get the _fuck_ back here and _talk to me_ this instant!"

I caught sight of Wakka leaving through the other door out of the corner of my eye as I turned. "_What?"_

It sounded bad even to my ears.

"Paine, what happened between you and Baralai just now?" she asked, and as she pulled me firmly back inside and down toward the now empty kitchen table, I found myself telling her everything. How Baralai had wanted to go to the dance with me, but I'd put him off. How he was probably asking LeBlanc _right now._

She appeared sympathetic then. "And you can't call him? Tell him you've changed your mind?"

"You don't understand, Lu!" I cried in outrage, mostly toward myself. "I couldn't tell him then and I can't tell him now. And I—! …You know, going to the dance with him would only cause more problems on top of that!"

"What problems?" she asked cynically.

"Problems like _love_." I could feel the bitterness flooding my consciousness. It made me feel ill… "I can't tell him, Lulu. It would be a betrayal of everything that we've had up to now and all that we've been through!"

"…But if you _don't_, Paine, it will be betrayal of everything that you _could've_ had in the future, but won't because of this missed opportunity."

"I can't," I maintained. "And I can't go to the dance either—not if he's taking LeBlanc."

I expected Lulu to argue the point more—to try to talk me into it—but she merely nodded her head slowly, seriously. The solemn clink of her beaded braids was deafening in the sudden still of the room, in the midst of her passing judgement.

"Then don't," she said finally. "But don't be expecting my sympathy either."

I was surprised, but tried my best not to let it show on my face.

"This was your chance and you let it pass you by," she said to me, and I knew that she meant it from her tone. "So it's Baralai I pity, and not you. It's your fault, and not his."

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

"This is miserable!" Rikku whined as Tidus and I approached the lunch table she, Baralai, and Gippal occupied. "Everyone's got a date to the dance but me!"

"Do you even care?" I found myself asking, with eyebrows raised, and the little grin I caught before indignation flooded assured me that she didn't really.

"But _everyone's_ going, Yuna! It's only our _second to last_ dance!!"

I couldn't quite match her apparent misery though, because I was going with Tidus. I was going with _Tidus!_

But Baralai… He was the very _picture_ of misery. I wondered whether or not Paine had asked him yet. Maybe he was afraid that she wouldn't… but that was ridiculous, because who _else_ would she go with??

"Are you going with Paine, Baralai?" I asked cautiously, but nothing could have prepared me for the look on his face. It was unidentifiable—alien, on him.

"No, I'm not going with Paine," he informed me stiffly, and then he returned to staring down at his somewhat sub-standard cafeteria meal.

Both Rikku and I stared, gobsmacked, but it would seem that Gippal already knew, because he appeared unmoved by this.

"Not going with Paine?" I repeated slowly, as if to check if I'd heard it right—though I knew that I had, of course.

"No. I'm not."

"He's going with LeBlanc," said Paine herself, from behind me, and I could see the effects of her icy gaze on Baralai's face and feel the intensity of it, though I couldn't see the look itself.

"_LeBlanc!_" Rikku cried, and now it was her repeating things. "Baralai, _why_?"

His reply was fire to her ice.

"Because she _asked me_," he said, and Paine was glowing red-hot for a moment, but then she simply gathered the tray she had just set down and stormed off, just like that. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gippal take off after her, but my gaze was fixed on Baralai.

The alien look had returned to his face.

Then, just as suddenly, he too gathered his tray and left, in the opposite direction. Rikku went after him.

Now alone at the table with Tidus, I turned to him and saw the confusion evident on his face.

"What's up with them?" he probed into my uncertain silence and sighing, I struggled to find some sort of explanation to give him.

"They're… fighting," I managed somewhat blankly. "Which is _odd_ because they never do."

"Do you think they're all right?" he asked, though they obviously weren't, and I sighed again.

"Paine's pretty stubborn," I told him. "And she holds a grudge better'n anyone I know, but _never_ toward Baralai. I've never heard her say a single harsh word to him that wasn't almost entirely in jest." At his thoughtful silence, I added quietly. "I'm worried about her, which I almost never am. I don't know what to do."

I saw his face contort in concentration, mixed with frustration, as he thought. I knew that he wanted to help badly, but just didn't know how, and sensing that this was distressing him, I quickly changed the subject.

"Blitzball," I said, and in safer territory, he was able to smile.

-

_Diary a la Rikku!!_

Chasing after Baralai was fruitless, of course. He may be a big old softie when it comes to Paine (usually), but put me up against that iron will of his and I'm totally defenceless. It doesn't help that he's already so certain of himself and what he's doing—that he's already decided so completely, irrevocably.

In the end, all I could do was sit by him, all the while knowing that it wasn't enough.

-

_Gippal_

Chasing after Dr P was never a huge success, even back in the baby days. Ever since she was little, if there was one thing our Paine could do it was throw tantrum, and _boy_ was she throwing one now. The only bit that seems strange to me is that it's Baralai she's throwing it at and me running after her—surely it was always the other way 'round when we were kids…

'Course, I knew long before I reached the gal that there was more to it than just Baralai goin' to prom with Le Blanc. That alone could never spark this sorta reaction from our Paine—not in public. She was too strong. No, something else, something _heavy_ was on her mind right now, and God knows I was too freaked to wanna know anything about it.

In the end, all I could do was offer my support and, though I'd been waiting for Rikku to ask, if truth were told, I'd offer her my hand at the dance too.

-

_3__rd__ Person P.O.V._

With less than a week to the dance almost everyone had paired up. Neither Paine nor Rikku with Gippal, surprisingly enough, (though he asked both of them) but rather, quite unconventionally, with each other.

At first, of course, Paine had been as determined not to go to the dance as Baralai had been _to_ go, but when faced with the horde of missed dress-shopping-outings and in-jokes that came with forgoing the Year 11 Formal, she had eventually caved to the point where she had agreed to go as Rikku's date (to Wakka's amusement, Lulu's abject horror, and Baralai's feigned indifference).

As it was, whilst she couldn't yet say that she was _looking forward_ to the event, she could at least say that she was _attending_ it, and perhaps… that she wasn't exactly _dreading_ it either. Considering the emotional turmoil of the past few weeks, the rare opportunity for relaxation would indeed be somewhat welcome, and it was worth it to see Rikku bouncing off the walls again.

Yuna however, was not convinced by Paine's slight improvement in mood over the past few weeks. With little or no resolution between her and Baralai in what was now approaching three weeks it had to be the longest period of frostiness between them for as long as she'd known them, and she said so.

"If Baralai would like to speak to me, let him," was her only reply.

By this point she was far beyond admitting guilt— she _knew_ it was her fault. She knew that very well! Lulu only reminded her of the fact whenever she had the audacity to pull a long face in her present, and would, she was sure, ever _continue_ to remind her of that fact until due amends were made. No, the argument now was that _yes_ it had been her fault to begin with, but that was nothing she could fix. It was now _Baralai's_ responsibility, as a friend who knew well her mind and disposition, to come and purge himself of the poison she'd fed him. If he did not do so, then he must simply not be interested in making amends.

It was rubbish, of course, but it was a convenient mindset for one as stubborn as Paine. She was in no way absolved from sin, or even from guilt, as a result of it, but it gave her due reason (or a semblance of one) not to go out and fix the mess herself, and that was what was important.

Sooner or later, she assumed, Baralai would simply have to come crawling back.

"He _would _speak to you, you know," Yuna pressed, "if he ever thought for a moment that you would let him in the door!"

"If he thinks that I'd turn him away he's a fool," Paine replied stubbornly. "How long have I known him, Yuna? Since we were babes in arms, that's how long. And have I ever once turned him away? Never! If he thinks I even _could_ then he's a fool."

Yuna frowned deeply. As far as she could see, the entire mess was completely Paine's own fault. But how could she tell her dear friend (who for all she played it cool was hurting more than she'd ever known her to) that Baralai had _taken_ liberties in assuming that she would ask him to the dance and that, given the result, he would hardly be taking such liberties again any time soon! How could she expect him to?

"Perhaps you might give the fool a hint?" she tried. "He _is_ a boy, Paine. They're not _meant_ to understand us. If they did, it would be all too easy."

"Then he must realise the error of his ways, one way or another," Paine stressed, and her stubbornness was truly becoming annoying by this point.

There was no way in which to suitably reason with Paine in a mood such as this. Going against her would only incur her wrath, whilst playing along to her fancies was equally fruitless— she was not one to be beat at her very own game. Not by anyone but Baralai, it seemed, and he was equally unwilling to seek her out.

"You can't tell me you really want to go to the dance with Rikku, Paine."

"I want to go to the dance with Rikku far more than Baralai wants to go with LeBlanc," Paine insisted. "We'll have a grand time, let Baralai see if we don't."

"_Paine, come in here and read the washing instructions on this silly dress for me. I've not got my glasses on."_

"Coming, Lu!"

Yuna sighed into her incomplete homework as Paine sprung out of her chair and began to move toward the laundry to inspect her formal dress. "Good luck, Paine!" she called after her, and then, with no more cards to play, she surrendered herself to the devil of distraction.


	10. The End

**Chapter 9**

_Diary a la Rikku!!_

Okay, I am getting really sick of teachers coming up to me and pretending to be all friendly when all they _really_ want to know is what the _fuck_ is happening with Paine and Baralai at the moment! I mean, it would be okay if I actually had something to _tell_ them when they asked, however tactlessly, but I _don't_ and it's so goddamn _frustrating_!! I mean, yes, Paine was supposed to ask Baralai to the dance. We all get that. I think even Paine is wondering why the hell she didn't, but _geez_, it couldn't have been too hard to remedy that! All she had to say was "Hey, 'Lai, I fucked up. Dump LeBlanc for me!' It's not like there's any way he would have said _no_!!

But here we are! It's the day before the dance and I've _still_ got teachers coming up to me asking why Baralai and Paine have gone off their heads the past few weeks, their performance in class is slipping, yadda yadda… as if I have a _clue_ what's going on!!

No, something needs to be done about this whole deal big time, and it may as well be done by _me_!

_Rikku out!_

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

I haven't totally lost my mind, you know. I _know_ that this is ridiculous. I've got people lining up for miles in all directions just to tell me that! Not. I'm _not_ insane, I'm not loopy, and I'm not suffering any sort of mad delusion that this isn't _entirely_… or almost entirely… _my_ fault.

The fact is this: I love Baralai. Love him to death and beyond, kooky as it sounds coming from me. And Yevon knows the last thing I want is to lose him…

I know very well that Baralai wanted to go to the dance with me a _million_ times more than he wanted to go with LeBlanc, and I know that the night before is a pretty shameful time to be acknowledging that I really wanted to go with him too… But what I don't want is to be bogged down into one of those stupid teenage romances that you're so certain are gonna last forever when suddenly _bam!_ Some stupid high school issue that doesn't measure up to a mosquito bite in the real world ends up separating you from the one guy you're supposed to be with forever… And I really do think that Baralai might be that guy.

So what? Do I want him to start talking to me again? Yevon, of course I do. Do I want to go to the dance with him? Again, of course… but can I handle everything that goes along with that? Could I—could _Paine_, the eternal loner—handle being Baralai's _girlfriend_….?

I don't know.

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

Sleeping the night before the Year 11 Formal was always going to be difficult. There's all the usual last minute worries, of course… Dress, make-up, date—all of them appropriate and ready for the big night? But then there's the additional worry of Paine and Baralai.

Yes.

Still.

The night before the dance.

When we look back on this day in years to come I'm going to kill them both for having me so worried… presuming that they're both married with children by then. If they're not, I'll probably just feel even more _depressed_.

The worst part by far, though, is that I think Rikku has a '_plan'_. Rikku's plans _never_ end well, and she never sees fit to warn anyone about them in advance either! I have absolutely _no idea_ what's going on, and Yevon, do I wish that I did! I have enough to worry about without Rikku going off independently and deciding that the one thing we need to bring Paine and Baralai together is absolutely, 100%, without a _shadow of a doubt_…………………………..a stripper.

Or something equally embarrassing.

Yevon… I sure do wish I knew what exactly she was scribbling in that little diary of hers right now…

_Yuna_

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

It's 3am, Saturday morning. In less than 24 hours the dance will be but another memory. I can make up with Baralai once it's over…

-

_Diary a la Rikku!!_

It's 3am!! That leaves approximately 12.5 hours until Painey arrives at me and Yunie's place to get all gussied up and my great plan begins to unfold! I can hardly wait!!

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

I'm so exhausted… Why can't I sleep…?

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

I'm so tired of this coldness between me and Baralai… I've just got to keep thinking that it's almost over.

-

_Diary a la Rikku!!_

Hey!! I think the sun is finally coming up!!!

-

_Diary a la Rikku!!_

Oh, reader! Do you remember your last school dance? Everything about it is just so romantic that you can't help but feel it the very _minute_ you walk into the room! …Or at least_, I_ won't be able to help but feel it because _I'll_ be walking in with the most romantic couple in the world, who will, of course, thanks to me, be newly reconciled by then!

It's 6:30. Paine, Yunie and I are all in our dresses, shoes, etc, having a quick, non-spillable meal before we put our faces on. Tidus is due to pick Yunie up in about 10 minutes. Too bad she'll miss the fun! I won't. As long as I'm quiet in the cupboard where I'll be hiding by then. Yup!! Not long at all now!!!

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

It was just a bit past 7 when the doorbell rang. Of course, I knew it was Baralai by the way Rikku immediately scarped (presumably to hide in the hall closet) the moment it sounded, but I surprised myself by being not in the least bit hesitant to open the door. (Though I must admit that I did call out to stall a few moments to check myself in the mirror in the hall bathroom…)

"Who is it?" I called coyly, as I brushed away an errant strand of hair that had attached itself to my glossy lips and batted my mascara'd eyelashes at the mirror experimentally.

"It's me."

'Course it was.

"Just a minute."

When I opened the door he was frowning to himself, but he snapped out of that the moment he saw me (or so I'd like to think, perhaps). The frown was replaced now by a nervous smile.

"I'm giving you a last chance, Paine. LeBlanc is waiting for me to pick her up right now." He waited a moment for me to process this. "Tell me to stand her up. We'll go out ourselves—forget the dance; there'll be billions of them. Tell me that's what you want and I'll do it."

I was going to say yes, you know.

But at the last moment, his arrogance got to me.

Here he was again, putting me on the spot, forcing me to admit what he already knew—he wouldn't be here if he didn't, after all.

In the end, my stubbornness got the better of me.

I breathed in deeply, took a step back from him, and said, "She's waiting for you, 'Lai. Don't disappoint her too."

And then I shut the door in his face and heard Rikku wail miserably from the hall cupboard. Of course she had orchestrated this. I'd known that from the start. I also knew that Baralai typically wasn't one to push— that even the first time in my bedroom he'd probably been put up to asking me upfront. He'd always known better than to box me into a corner, push my back up against the wall. He knew that I hated it…

I suppose he must have been really desperate.

I sighed to myself as I heard Rikku clamber out of the closet.

"Paine?" she asked cautiously, as though afraid I might turn her away too.

"Wrong house," I said flatly and she blinked in surprise.

"I thought I heard Baralai…?" she pressed.

I just shrugged. "That's strange," I said, and I walked back past her into the kitchen.

-

_PRIVATE!! Please return to Yuna T. Roll class: 11M-LK_

I'm going to assume that Rikku's plan was a failure…

Not because Paine just walked in the door to the dance alone (she could have done that even if it had been relatively successful), but because Rikku looked so utterly miserable as she herself walked in. I know she regrets that she and Sir Auron couldn't go to the dance together (she understands _why_, of course, but she does regret it), and for her brilliant plan to fail, on top of that… I suppose it's a bit much for her. Still, this is definitely her sort of event, and I doubt it's enough to keep her down for long.

-

_Private Property of Paine K. Keep the Hell out._

It was late, it was cold, and I was tired.

Not that I could tell anyone that: they were all too busy having the time of their lives to pay me any mind. Tidus with Yuna, Lu with Wakka, Rikku moving around so fast that she could have been with everyone at once… Gippal was the only one who showed me any sympathy. He also assured me that Baralai was out there suffering just as much as I was. It didn't make me feel any better, of course. In fact, it made me feel worse.

I hadn't seen him since I'd arrived but I could picture it. He'd be in that nice tux I helped him pick out for his Aunt's wedding, and wearing the same green tie he wore that day. I loathed the colour myself, but he'd been so taken with it that I couldn't say no. In fact, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I'd purchased a dress in the exact same hideous green to wear by his side.

For reasons further a mystery to me, I was wearing it now.

"You alright, Paine?"

Rikku had come outside to join me on the lawn outside the school hall and she looked guilty—perhaps for leaving me alone the entire evening, perhaps for convincing me to come at all. Though I didn't say so, I didn't blame her for either. I'm sure she genuinely thought I'd enjoy myself. I know that I myself hoped I might...

"What time is it?" I asked, avoiding the obvious answer to her question. She told me it was almost midnight. "We should be heading home soon."

"Almost everyone's gone home already," Rikku informed me. "You've missed a lot out here. I would've found you but I didn't know where to look. Lulu said she hadn't seen you…" She trailed off. "They're winding down inside. I was going to ask Auron to dance the last dance with me."

I raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

"There's no one left to judge," she continued, sensing my disapproval. "Anyway… about Baralai— give him a chance, won't you? He's trying his best."

I was surprised that she'd bring him up now but I didn't show it. "I know he is," I said. "…I am too."

Rikku smiled. "Yeah. I'm going inside. If you're staying out here, don't be long, okay?"

I nodded and she skittered off, soon to be replaced by Baralai, exiting through the same door she'd just entered. I couldn't help but think the two must be connected.

"Evening, Paine," he said simply, guiltily.

I walked up to him and clasped his hand. "Evening, 'Lai."

His smile was weak, half-hearted. "You look amazing, Paine."

He did too, but I didn't return the compliment.

"Your date gone home already?" I asked instead, and he shifted his weight anxiously.

"I never actually agreed to go to the dance with LeBlanc," he admitted.

I should have been glad, of course, but it actually made me kind of mad.

"Then why did you _tell_ me that you did?"

He continued to shift. "Because I knew that you didn't want me to," was the sheepish reply. "I thought… I hoped that you'd change your mind and ask me if you thought that I was going to take LeBlanc up on her offer. I never thought you'd bid me good riddance!"

"And _I_ never thought you'd elbow your way in and have my back against the wall!"

Baralai's gaze dropped and he grinned at the floor. "I knew it was a bad idea," he said, "But I really wanted to go with you, Paine."

I'd wanted to go with him too.

I really had.

His hand still held mine but only weakly now. I knew he was ready to drop it the moment he sensed that that was what I wanted.

…I squeezed his hand _tight_.

Fin


End file.
